Truth or DareBleach Style
by KeiraKat
Summary: OK you may send me any truths or dares for ANY character in a review… I promise to answer all of them!
1. Introduction

Bleach-style Truth or dare!

Ichigo: God why do I have to go through this so much?

OK this may be so overused but I don't care… it's fun! I will make all the characters as not OOC as possible and PROMISE to answer all your truths or dares… but I have rules!

(READ)

1. No dressing Hitsugaya in a bunny outfit

Hitsugaya: whew

2. No Ichiruki (I don't like it)

3. Uh… no random Japanese songs are dances cuz I'm American.

That's it!

Please send me your truths or dares!


	2. The Cake Song and Gangster Talk

Me: Yay! Reviews!

Ichigo: What? Why do people like this stuff?

Me: Because it's funny?

Ichigo: Wait, it's funny to see us get tortured? I had to make out with RENJI once!

Renji: Yeah, that was SO nasty. Still have nightmares about it.

Me: But how else would you have been able to make out with him otherwise? I don't see it happening in the main storyline. Anyway, reviews! First one is from **apola55**:

_yays a new one! first cuz you said no dressing toushiro in a BUNNY suit he_

_needs to dress up in a kitty suit_

_and i am a all around bleach yaoi fangirl i basicly hate all normal guyXgirl_

_pairings incl;uding histuhina and hitsumatsu cuz i am a hitsu fangirl but i_

_dont show it so toushiro kitty do you like momo? and do you like rangiku and_

_both questions and like more than child hood friend and asisitant captian and_

_ichigo needs to sing the cake song from lazy town with renji and the 4 eyed_

_quincy XD all done good luck with your story_

Ichigo: Agh! Yaoi fangirl! –scream-

Hitsugaya: I thought you said no kitty suits too!

Me: Oh. I was kinda only thinking bunny suits… I forgot about kitties. Sorry, Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya: Shit.

Momo: Shiro-chan! Language!

Hitsugaya: Sorry.

Me: OK. Find a kitty suit, Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya: No.

Momo: Please, Shiro-chan? I'll stop calling you Shiro-chan for the whole chapter if you do!

Hitsugaya: Really?

Momo: Yup!

Hitsugaya: Wow. OK, I'll do it. –puts on kitty suit-

Me: That's not a kitty suit, Hitsugaya. Those are cat ears.

Hitsugaya: No, they're not! Fine. I guess they are.

Rangiku: Look what I found, Shiro-chan! A kitty outfit complete with pink bows! Put it on, please?

Hitsugaya: Great. Now you are calling me Shiro-chan. As your superior officer, I command you to refer to me as Captain Hitsugaya.

Me: Oh… ranks don't matter in this room. Hehe. The bathroom is to your right.

Hitsugaya: -goes into bathroom-

Me: Well, then. The next truth involves Hitsugaya too, so we'll skip it for later. Ichigo, Renji and "4-eyes Quincy" have to sing the cake song from Lazy Town.

Ishida: 4-eyes Quincy? Who does this girl think she is?

Me: Her name's apola55.

Ishida: That's not what I meant.

Renji: Hey, what's a cake song and what's lazy town?

Ichigo: Lazy town is a TV show for little kids… and the cake song is one of the songs that they sing. About cake.

Ishida: How do you know that?

Ichigo: Uh… Yuzu watches it.

Renji: Yeah…

Ichigo: OK… I'll show you a video. –goes on youtube-

Ishida and Renji: O_O… We have to sing that?

Me: Yup! If you don't, then I will do nasty things to you. Oh, and since Renji and Ishida are cool, and Ichigo isn't, Ichigo has to sing the main part. Ready… go!

Ichigo: _I'll pile on the candy; it's such a pretty sight. Makes the food taste dandy; but my tummy will hurt all night._

Me: Bwahahahaa! This is SO going on Youtube!

Kitty Hitsugaya: I'm dressed- -stares at Ichigo,- what are you doing, Kurosaki?

Renji: _It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake_- We're apparently singing a "cake song".

Ishida: _If the way is hazy, you gotta do the cooking by the book- _And you think dressing up in a kitty suit is bad…

Me: Oh! There's a truth for you, Hitsugaya. Do you like Momo or Rangiku? And not just as an assistant captain or a friend.

Kitty Hitsugaya: What? Like as in a crush?

Me: Duh!

Kitty Hitsugaya: Why would someone think that I would like Matsumoto just because she's my lieutenant? That's like Byakuya liking Renji!

Me: Actually, people write about that too.

Renji: _You gotta have it made, you know that I like cake- _Really?

Me: Yup! C'mon, Hitsugaya, spit it out. Who do you have a crush on.

Hitsugaya: -mumbles- Ihaveacrushonmomo

Momo: Aw! Really, Toshiro?

Hitsugaya: -sighs- Yes.

Ichigo: _Making food is just like science- _Whoa! Toshiro has a crush on Hinamori?

Hitsugaya: Yes I do! Do you have a problem with that?

Ichigo: _With tools that blend and baste- _No! It's better than you liking my sister.

Hitsugaya: I don't have a crush on Karin!

Momo: He loves me… can I call you Shiro-chan now?

Hitsugaya: No! The deal was for the end of the chapter!

Momo: Fine.

Hitsugaya: Next review… now I can take off this blasted kitty suit.

Me: The next review is from **IdentifiedLuna1998. **

_truth_

_Hitsugaya- can you tell me how tall are you_

_dares_

_ichigo-dye your hair pink in blue highlights_

_Rukia- no chappy for 2 chap_

_Hitsugaya(again)- go sugar rush_

_byakuya- talk like a gangster until the author says stop_

_that's all and i'm not an american nor Japanese_

Me: Another one for you, Hitsugaya!

Hitsugaya: -scowls- I'm 4'4".

Me: Whoa! You're that short?

Karin: I always thought so. –pats Hitsugaya on the head-

Hitsugaya: Stop it! Both of you!

Karin: Sorry.

Me: OK, Ichigo you have to dye your hair pink with blue highlights.

Ichigo: No way.

Me: Do it, or else I'll hurt you. I don't like you so I would…

Ichigo: -cringe- OK…

Renji: -snickers-

Me: Bathroom's to your right. You'll find hair dye there.

Ichigo: -leaves-

Me: Rukia! No chappy for two chapter!

Rukia: -sniffs- Butbutbutbutbut…

Me: Sorry… -takes away chappy-

Rukia: No!

Me: OK, Hitsugaya again. Everyone loves you, it seems. Momo, come here for a sec –whispers in Momo's ear-

Momo: OK! Toshiro, here's a cookie! I baked it myself… please eat it?

Hitsugaya: OK… for you… -eats cookie- That was a very sweet cookie…

Me: Now we wait.

Hitsugaya: For what- -eyes bulge out- Hiihihihihihihihihihiihihihi sugarsugarsugar yumyum yum yum yum yummyyyyy

Rangiku: Aw, Shiro-chan! No wonder you don't eat Ukitake's candy!

Me: -videotapes this-

Hitsugaya: Heyheyheyheyheyheyhyehihihihihihihii SUGAR –bounces around room-

Ichigo: -comes out of bathroom and Hitsugaya runs into him- Toshiro?

Hitsugaya: hihihihihi Ichigo nice hair makes you look gaygaygaygaygay

Me: Yeah, it does make you look gay.

Ichigo: Shut it!

Me: -takes pictures-

Yuzu: Aw, Onii-chan! You look so cute!

Karin: He just looks gay.

Ichigo: Shut it, Karin.

Karin: -snickers-

Me: OK! Next dare. Byakuya has to talk like a gangster.

Byakuya: I refuse.

Me: Sorry, Byakuya. You're my favorite character, but the reviewer says you have to.

Byakuya: I am not going to "talk like a gangster"

Yoruichi: C'mon, Bya-kun, or I'll set Hitsugaya on you.

Hitsugaya: Yesyesyes gangster yummy yummy yummy SUGAR

Byakuya: -stares- Fine. How does one speak like a gangster?

Renji: You say things like "wazzup" and "yo" and "dawg" and "homies" and "ain't" and "wats crackin" and you curse a lot.

Byakuya: curse?

Renji: Uh… yeah… like fuck and shit and bitch. Those are all curse words.

Byakuya: All right. –clears throat- Yo, wazzup bitches?

Everyone: -stares-

Me: Never thought he would actually do it.

Ichigo: I think it was the sugar-high Toshiro that convinced him.

Byakuya: No fuckin little kid ain't telling me what ta do, homies.

Ishida: He's actually good at it…

Me: I'm scared… Byakuya, PLEASE STOP!

Byakuya: Thank you. I assume that was sufficient.

Me: -stares- I can't do this anymore. I will choose a successor to be the new host. Tell me the character you think should host this truth or dare in your reviews… along with your truths and dares!

OK… keep sendin them reviews along with your vote to who should host this pathetic little thing of mine. I will announce the winner in three chapters… personally I think Gin should do it.


	3. Yaoi makeout and Neko Maids

Me: Yay! Reviews! This one's from **Neko-Shakaku.**

_Aw~ This is funny yet cute~_

_Sorry but I am yaoi fangirl(on my other account but I'm on this one)_

_Dares:_

_I DARE ICHIGO AND TOUSHIROU TO MAKE-OUT!_

_I also dare Hisagi and Renji to make-out._

_And Kira and Gin,I dare you to make out._

_I dare Toushirou to dress as a maid with long white wig,in pigtails and sing_

_and dance the hare Hare Yukai._

_I dare Ukitake and Unohana to kissy kissy ^_^_

_I dare Ichigo to dye his hair black with red tips!^_^_

_I dare Byakuya to make a gangsta song._

_After the hare hare yukai dare,I dare Toushirou to dress as a NEKO MAID with a_

_short dress,play guitar,and sing 'Lost My Music'._

_Truths:_

_Ukitake,do you love Unohana?_

_Toushirou,whats the real reason you love Momo?_

_Ichigo,who do you love?Rukia or Orihime?_

_Soi fon,Are you a lesbian,bi sexual,or are you straight?Plus,who do you love?I_

_bet 5000 yen that its Yourichi!_

Thats all,this was great ^_^

Me: Long review…

Hitsugaya and Ichigo: -scream-

Me: Hehe… sorry… you gotta make out.

Hitsugaya: No way.

Ichigo: Nope.

Me: Please? Or else I'll feed you sugar, Hitsugaya, and I'll cut you up, Ichigo.

Hitsugaya: -shudders- I won't let you.

Ichigo: I'd like to see you cut me up.

Me: OK. –draws katana- It's on.

Ichigo: -draws Zangetsu- Yeah.

Unohana: I'm sure that everyone would be better off if there was no fighting. Right?

Ichigo: -scared face- U-uh OK… -makes out with Hitsugaya-

Hitsugaya: Mmph! –gags- I need to go wash my mouth.

Karin: Eew. Ichi-nii just made out with a guy. See, I told you the blue and pink hair was gay!

Ichigo: Hey! The reviewer made me do it!

Me: I like how I'm automatically blamed for that.

Renji: Next dare is- oh shit.

Hisagi: What? Oh. Damn.

Me: Yup! You two gotta get at it!

Renji: I HATE THOSE YAOI FANGIRLS!

Me: Aw… you don't mean that!

Renji: Oh, I do. I mean, I'm straight and I really don't wanna make out with a guy!

Hisagi: Uh huh… same here.

Me: -wrings hands- Unohana, a little help here?

Unohana: Please stop making such a ruckus.

Renji and Hisagi: -tremble- O-OK… -make out-

Me: There! Wasn't too hard, was it?

Renji and Hisagi: Blech –wash out mouths-

Me: OK, only one more yaoi make-out left! Gin and Kira

Kira: Wait, wha-

Gin: Come here, Kira-kun! –kisses Kira-

Kira: O_O

Gin: Yummy.

Me: -stares- Uh… OK then… Rangiku, could you please read the next dare?

Rangiku: OK! Shiro-chan has to dress up as a maid with long white pigtails and dsing and dance the Hare Hare Yukai!

Hitsugaya: No way in-

Gin: Aw! Shiro-chan, please?

Hitsugaya: How gay can you get?

Gin: Oh, I'm just getting started…

Hitsugaya: Uh… no need to show me…

Gin: Then do the dare!

Hitsugaya: O_O Uh… OK…

Me: Bathroom's to your right! The maid costume is in there.

Hitsugaya: -leaves-

Me: OK! Ukitake and Unohana have to, quote unquote, kissy kissy.

Ukitake: -blushes-

Unohana: -kisses Ukitake on the cheek-

Me: Aw…

Rukia: -smirks- Ichigo, you have to dye your hair black with red tips now!

Ichigo: No way!

Karin: Hey, at least you won't look gay anymore.

Ichigo: -glares- All right.

Me: Good! Here's hair dye, bathroom's to your right.

Ichigo: but Toshiro is in there!

Hitsugaya: Not anymore

Ichigo: -turns around and starts laughing- Ahahahaha… you look so funny Toshiro!

Hitsugaya: -punches Ichigo in the face-

Rangiku: AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA YOU LOOK SO CUTE!

Hitsugaya: Shut up.

Me: OK, now dance the Hare Hare yukai

Hitsugaya: -kicks legs- _I want to be the only one who will solve the mysteries that take control of our lives with my friends we will go anywhere in this world forever for all of time, Boon!_

Rangiku: Aww…

Momo: You're so cute!

Ichigo: -walks out- Uh, Toshiro?

Hitsugaya: -glares and continues dancing-

Orihime: Kurosaki-kun! You look so cool!

Karin: I think he looks like a punk.

Ichigo: -glare-

Renji: Heh heh, you do look like an idiot, Ichigo.

Ichigo: Shut up, Renji.

Renji: -snickers-

Me: OK, next dare! Byakuya has to make a gangster song!

Byakuya: I believe I have already done this?

Me: No that was gangster talk.

Byakuya: I refuse to compose a song with that vulgar language.

Yachiru: Aw… Bya-kushi! I wanna hear music you made!

Rangiku: -feeling brave- If you don't, I'll read, out loud, a Byakuya/Ichigo rated M yaoi story.

Byakuya: …

Rangiku: OK, I'm googling-

Byakuya: All right. I will write a "gangsta song". –pulls out paper and calligraphy brush-

Me: While Byakuya is writing his gangster song, Hitsugaya has to dress as a Neko Maid and sing "Lost my Music". Here's a Neko-Maid outfit.

Hitsugaya: -stares- So skimpy…

Me: Bathroom's on your right!

Hitsugaya: I KNOW! YOU'VE SAID THAT SO MANY TIMES ALREADY! –leaves-

Me: Well Sor-ry! Byakuya, you done yet?

Byakuya: I have completed the first stanza.

Yachiru: Yay! I wanna hear Byakushi's song!

Byakuya: -clears throat-

_Yo, yo yo, ima gangster, where my dawgs at, bark with me if you're my dawg._

_Yo yo yo im going, im gunna give a shout out to all the player haters ( I don't like player haters) _

_yo if yours a player hater, don't player hate on me, ima gangster_

_Im straight up_

_Grr im steaming mad grr_

Ima gangster, im a straight up g, the gangster like is the life for me, shooting people by day, selling drugs by night, being a gangster is hella tight.

Me: -puts hands over Yachiru's ears- Uh… great, Byakuya…

Byakuya: Such rubbish.

Me: You don't need to finish it.

Hitsugaya: -comes out of bathroom-

Momo: O_O YOU'RE SO CUTE TOSHIRO!

Hitsugaya: -blushes-

Karin: hehe… you look like a prostitute.

Hitsugaya: SHUT IT!

Me: Here's a guitar, Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya: -strums guitar_- Looking at the starry sky, I wish that you would be, that light shining upon me. How I wonder where you are right now, and if you are with somebody else?_

Momo: -sighs-

Rarngiku: -giggles-

Karin: -snorts-

Me: OK, truths now! First one's for Ukitake. Do you like Unohana.

Ukitake: -blushes- N-no… just as a friend.

Kyoraku: You blushed, Jushiro.

Ukitake: Shunsui!

Unohana: -smiles- I'm very touched.

Me: Aw…

Rangiku: Ooh… next one's for Shiro-chan! What's the real reason you like Momo?

Hitsugaya: Even though you held me so, told me you won't let go, I was your one and only. Uh… because she's sweet and pretty… I don't know? –blushes-

Me: OK… Ichigo? Who do you love, Orihime or Rukia?

Orihime: -blushes-

Ichigo: Neither.

Orihime: -sob-

Rukia: Wait… why do you think Ichigo would like me?

Me: -shakes head- You can so dense sometimes, Rukia.

Rukia: Huh?

Me: Next one's for Soi Fon! Are you les, bi or straight? Who do you have a crush on?

Soi Fon: -sniffs- I don't have time for that kind of thing. And I'm straight.

Yoruichi: Really?

Soi Fon: -blushes- bi…

Me: So you don't have a crush on Yoruichi?

Soi Fon: N-no!

Yoruichi: -snickers-

Me: Sorry, Neku-Shakaku. She denies it.

**OK PEOPLE SEND IN YOUR REVIEWS! AND SEND IN YOUR VOTES TO WHO SHOULD HOST THIS TRUTH OR DARE! **

**WE STAND AT 1 VOTE FOR GIN AND 1 VOTE FOR YACHIRU!**


	4. Catnip and Sparkly Pink T Shirts

Me: Reviews!

Ichigo: Aren't they bored of this already?

Me: Nope! Cuz I'm super-fun! This one's from **Ultima-Owner**

_I dare ichigo to drunk then talk to rukia_

_rukia give grimmjow catnip_

Me: 'Kay! Short and sweet! Rangiku and Kyoraku, help me out here?

Kyoraku: -grabs Ichigo-

Ichigo: Hey! Hey, lemme go!

Rangiku: -pours sake in Ichigo's mouth-

Ichigo: gah! –glug glug-

Rangiku: OK, that's the whole bottle.

Ichigo: Uhhhh… -eyes glaze- heeeeeeeeeyyyy sexy ladyyyyy…

Rangiku: -pushed Ichigo over to Rukia-

Ichigo: Heyyyy shorty chick… you don't got no boobsss… -gropes Rukia-

Rukia: -punches Ichigo- Get away from me, perv!

Rangiku: Don't judge him, he's drunk.

Ichigo: -walks over to Orihime- hey… you've gotta biig rack, chick – collapses on Orihime-

Orihime: K-kurosaki-kun?

Me: -scoops up Ichigo and dumps him on couch- There, the lazy bastard can stay in the couch and miss the next dare.

Rukia: I have to give Grimmjow… catnip? But he impaled me with his hand!

Me: Think of this as revenge.

Rukia: -cackles- OK. Griiiimmmmjooooow!

Grimmjow: Whaddya want, Soul Reaper?

Rukia: Oh, hallo, Grimmkitty!

Grimmjow: You gotta death wish?

Rukia: Of course not, Kitty-kitty! I have a present for you!

Grimmjow: Don't call me kitty –growls-

Rukia: But you are a kitty!

Grimmjow: Grr… -lunges at Rukia-

Me: -bonks grimmjow on the head- Bad kitty.

Grimmjow: Shut the fuck up, woman.

Me: Aw… you can do gangster talk too! You should hang out with Byakuya:

Grimmjow: What the fuck?

Rukia: Here, Grimm-kitty! –hands Grimmjow present-

Grimmjow: Not opening it.

Byakuya: You will open it. It is a present from Rukia.

Grimmjow: Jeez… ok… god. –opens present- CATNIP?

Rukia: As a thank-you for impaling me.

Grimmjow: Why you little—

Me: OK, next review! –knocks out Grimmjow- You're safe now, Rukia.

Rukia: Thanks. The next review is from **Ichigo's future wife**

Ichigo: Do I know this chick?

Rukia: Fangirl. Anyway, here it is!

_lol this is awesome! i think Yachiru should be the new host! well anywayyyys,_

_i got some dares for ichigo! :D_

_i dare ichigo to and renji to wear matching hot pink sparkley t-shirts_

_i dare ichigo to act like isshin and isshin to act like ichigo until the next_

_chappy :)_

_ichigo is my fav character! i luvs him! cant wait til the next chappy!_

Me: Hot pink sparkly shirts, Renji and Ichigo! And thank you, future wife of Ichigo, though I really can't 100% respect someone who wants to marry –points to Ichigo- HIM.

Ichigo: Jeez. What did I do?

Rangiku: Here's two sparkly pink shirts!

Renji: -stares- they're a bit big around… there.

Rukia: -puts shirts on Renji and Ichigo- There!

Ichigo: Gah… mine says "Pink" with sparkly rhinestones!

Renji: Mine says –gulp- "Sexy"!

Ichigo: Yeah, doesn't suit you.

Renji: Shaddap! –starts fighting with Ichigo-

Karin: Oh, look. They're rolling on the floor together. How gay can you get, Ichigo?

Ichigo: -jumps away from Renji- You have a dirty mind, Karin.

Karin: Heh. Now you have to act like Goat-chin, and Goat-chin has to act like you.

Isshin: All right! –strikes heroic pose- I will save you (Insert name of damsel in distress)

Ichigo: I do not sound like that! Here: -jumps on Karin- my dear daughter!

Karin: Gettoffame ya perv –kicks Ichigo in the face-

Ichigo: Ow…-clears throat- MY DAUGHTERS ARE GROWING UP!

Yuzu: Onii-chan?

Me: Yay peoples that's chappy 4!

pleez send in your reviews and send in who you think should host this thingimabob! So far one vote for Yachiru and one for Gin!


	5. Orihime's cooking and More Gangsters

Me: OK… I'm back!

Hitsugaya: Shit.

Me: Hey, it's not my fault that half the female fangirl world is in love with you!

Hitsugaya: Still…

Me: Here's another review from **IdentifiedLuna1998**.

_I knew it Shiro-chan is 4,4 (133cm, ha i'm taller than him)_

_truth_

_Ichigo:the last dare is gave you, do you want to kill me -takes out zanpakuto_

_and give a warning-_

_dare_

_Shiro-chan: meet Ed from fulmetal alchemist ( because 2 of them are short)_

_Ichigo: it's a fun dare, i want you to burn all isshin'ns poster of masaki_

_Rukia: eat orihime's cooking_

_Renji: let your hair down for 3 chap_

_Byakuya: i dare you to dress like gangster ( because it's fun to see him a gangster)_

_Done and i'm not a fangirl!_

Rukia: -gasp- the evil girl that took away my chappy!

Me: OK, I _think _the first truth is asking Ichigo if he wants to kill Luna, cuz she made him dye his hair. Luna, tell me if I'm wrong.

Ichigo: Uh… I don't kill people because they make me look gay.

Karin: SO YOU AGREE WITH ME!

Ichigo: …

Me: Yeah… dares. Hitsugaya has to meet Edward Elric from Full Metal Alchemist. I don't actually read this manga, but some dude from my school does and he carries around a book with all the characters in it.

Hitsugaya: Uh… OK?

Ed: Hey.

Hitsugaya: Why is your arm and leg made out of metal?

Ed: I lost my leg in an experiment, and I gave my arm to revive my brother.

Hitsugaya: Brother?

Ed: -points to his brother-

Hitsugaya: Your brother is a… suit of armor?

Ed: Long story.

Rangiku: Hey kiddo! You're almost as short as Shiro-chan here!

Hitsugaya: MATSUMOTO!

Me: Hehe… cute kids. Bye, Ed.

ED: Bye.

Hitsugaya: I'm 90 years old here!

Me: Really? OK, next dare… Ichigo has to burn all of Isshin's Masaki posters!

Ichigo: I can't burn something that has my mother on it…

Karin: Jeez, you're just like dad. Don't worry; I burned them already.

Isshin: YOU WHAT?

Me: -snickers- Now Rukia has to eat Orihime's cooking!

Orihime: why is that a dare?

Everyone: …

Rukia: -gulps- OK… Orihime… Could I have some of your –gulps- cooking?

Orihime: Sure! I'll make bean paste and eggplant soup with chives and gummy bears! –starts cooking-

Rukia: Gummy bears?

Rangiku: Aw… I want some too!

Orihime: OK!

Me: While we leave those ladies to their business, Renji has to let his hair down.

Renji: OK… -lets hair down- Why is that a dare?

Me: You look hotter with your hair down. Right, Rukia?

Rukia: -busy barfing up Orihime's soup-

Me: … OK… you do! Now Byakuya has to dress up as a gangster?

Byakuya: I have spoken like a gangster, I have written a song like a gangster, I refuse to now dress a gangster. That would disgrace the Kuchiki name.

Me: Well…

Yachiru: If you don't, I'll take videos of Byakushi in the shower and give them to all the people in Soul Society!

Me: What have you been teaching this girl, Zaraki?

Zaraki: I didn't do it…

Me: Whatever. Byakuya, she has tunnels all throughout your mansion, and probably in your bathroom too. Plus, I'll get Ichigo to cal you Captain Kuchiki if you do…

Byakuya: Fine.

Me: Bathroom's to your-

Byakuya: Right. –leaves-

Me: Jeesh.

Byakuya: -from the bathroom- There isn't a shirt.

Me: I don't think you're supposed to wear a shirt… -imagines shirtless Byakuya- oh god… 3 3 3

Byakuya: How do I put on this chain?

Me: Renji, go help him.

Renji: OK. –goes in bathroom- -screams- you haven't put your pants on yet?

Ichigo: O_O

ME: Teehee… a weak little gift for yaoi fans everywhere.

Byakuya and Renji: -Come out-

Renji: -face bright red- Aghh…

Byakuya: -impassive- Is this sufficient? –dressed in black skinny jeans, basketball shoes, and has gangster cap and chain on neck-

Females: -stare- Eh-hh-eh… -drool-

Rangiku: I didn't think Byakuya could get any hotter but this…

Me: Byakuya, please put a shirt on before all the girl in this room faint.

Byakuya: -nods and leaves-

Me: Whew.

OK PEOPLES SEND IN OUR REVIEWS AND PLEASE PLEASE _PLEASE_ TELL ME WHO YOU THINK SHOULD BE THE NEW HOST!

**IT'S ONE VOTE FOR YACHIRU AND ONE VOT FOR GIN! **


	6. Hugs and Monster

Me: Yay! More reviews! This one's from **Cat Food Chick**.

_My Vote is for Gin to host XD_

_Truths:_

_Isshin: Why do you constantly attack Ichigo,and why do you act so perverted_

_with your daughters?_

_Ichigo: Is there anyone you do have a crush on? (since you said no to Orihime_

_and Rukia)_

_Dares:_

_Byakua: Give Rukia a hug (since you always seem so cold to her D: your her_

_brother,for crying out loud! show some love!)_

_Karin:sing the 'cat,I'm a kitty cat' song while wearing a cat outfit_

_just be lucky I am not a rapid Yaoi fan girl...yet :3 or this would be so much different *evil giggle*_

Ichigo: Weird name…

Rukia: Be nice.

Ichigo: Sorry…

Isshin: I attack Ichigo so he can get more strong and manly!

Ichigo: Heh.

Isshin: And I do not act perverted with my dear Karin-chan and Yuzu-chan! I just, LOVE THEM SO MUCH –tries to jump on Karin-

Karin: -kicks Isshin in the face-

Me: Ichigo… who do you have a crush on?

Ichigo: Why should I tell you?

Me: Because I'll kick your face in if you don't.

Karin: He doesn't want to tell you because he's gay.

Ichigo: SHUT UP KARIN! I am not gay!

Me: Then who do you like?

Ichigo: -blushes- Tatsuki…

Tatsuki: Really? –snickers-

Ichigo: Shaddap!

Orihime: -sob-

Tatsuki: It's OK, Orihime, Ichigo's just an idiot.

Ichigo: …

Me: Well there… Ichigo's dark secret has been revealed! Byakuya now has to hug Rukia!

Byakuya: -kneels and hugs Rukia-

Rukia: -eyes glitter- Nii-sama…

Me: And he's cold with everyone, not just Rukia.

Yuzu: Yay! Karin-chan has a dare finally!

Karin: Not something to be happy about.

Me: There's a cat outfit in the bathroom which is-

Karin: To my right. BUT I am not going to dress up in such a girly thing.

Ichigo: HA! You're scared!

Karin: Am not! –marches into bathroom-

Ichigo: Heh.

Karin: -comes out-

Hitsugaya: -stares-

Isshin: Aw! My darling daughter looks so grown up and se-

Karin: -kicks Isshin in the face-

Ichigo: Now sing it.

Karin: -in monotone- Cat. I'm a kitty cat. And I dance, dance, dance and I dance, dance, dance.

Yuzu: Yay! –claps hands-

Karin: -marches back into bathroom-

Me: Yay!

Ukitake: The next dare is from **ultima-owner**.

_Yamamoto should be the host_

_dares:_

_Rukia dye your hair_

_Yachiru drink 3 cans of monster in 10 min_

Me: OK! Rukia!

Rukia: Can I choose the color?

Me: I guess.

Rukia: Yay! –runs to bathroom-

Yachiru: -gulps down Monster-

Everyone: -watches her-

Yachiru: -vibrates- YAY! –bounces off ceiling- HI everyone! Byakushi! I want your hair noodles! HIHiihii!

Byakuya: -fends off Yachiru-

Yachiru: KEN-CHAN!

Rukia: -comes out of bathroom and is hit by flying Yachiru-

Yachiru: YAY! RUKIA-CHAN YOU LOOK CUTE WITH WHITE HAIR!

Ichigo: White?

Rukia: To match Sode No Shirayuki.

Renji: …

Me: OK –tries to evade flying Yachiru- send in your reviews!

**ALSO SEND IN YOUR VOTES FOR NEW HOST WE'RE AT 2 VOTES FOR GIN 1 VOTE FOR YACHIRU AND 1 VOTE FOR YAMAMOTO. WHEN I GET 15 TOTAL VOTES I'LL CLOSE THE VOTING AND A NEW HOST SHALL BE CHOSEN! THANK YOU REVIEWERS! BYEEEEEE**


	7. Fun and Healthy Cooking

Me: OK, another review from **ultima-owner**!

_True: did Yachiru recover from the moster?_

Dare: I dare ichigo to have "fun" with Ken- chan

Ichigo: FUN?

Me: I think "fighting" kind of fun… not the _other _kind of fun… eew… whatever… Yachiru?

Yachiru: HHIIHIHI ULTIMA OWNER GUESS WHATT KEN-CHANS GONNA HAVE FUN WITH ICHII!

Me: I think that's a no. –ties Yachiru down-

Zaraki: Fun time.

Me: I don't think he meant for it to come out that way…

Zaraki: -draws sword and charges Ichigo-

Ichigo: Gah! –runs away-

Me: Please don't destroy my room? –boots Ichigo and Zaraki out-

Orihime: I hope Kurosaki-kun will be all right…

Me: He'll be fine. He kicked Zaraki's ass when he didn't even have bankai.

Orihime: Mmm…

Me: While Ichigo and Zaraki are having fun, let's read the next review! It's from **IdentifiedLuna1998 **again!

_Hiya, i'm not evil but sneaky_

_dares_

_Isshiin: you must reveal your shinigami i mean soul reaper robes_

_Ichigo: show me a demenstration i've someone want to date your sisters on Isshin_

_Rukia: here's a 100 chappy plushes for apologize about the last dares_

_Byakuya: shave all his hair ( it's not me but my sis say it )_

_Yachiru: sugar rush time_

_Orihime: you must cook something healthy_

_Toshiro: fight me and my zanpakuto_

_Every truth or dare fanfic author can join. Can i join the fun i'm a shinigami_

_with zanpakuto name Tsukihime and for my bankai is Tsukihime no Sora_

Me: Sure you can join! Hi, Luna. (I'll have to talk for you though) How about you join for your review?

Luna: OK

Me: Cool.

Ichigo: What's "show me a demenstration i've someone want to date your sisters on Isshin" mean?

Me: I dunno… Isshin has to show us his shinigami robes first.

Isshin: -turns into Soul Reaper-

Luna: Yay!

Yuzu: Daddy! –runs to Isshin's human body-

Me: Now we have to figure out what Ichigo's dare is… Sorry… I'm not good at deciphering shorthand…

Ichigo: I have to demonstrate how to date my sisters with my dad?

Me: I guess…

Ichigo: Uh… OK… -walks over to Isshin- do you want to go out with me? –smiles politely-

Karin: -cracks up-

Me: Wow…

Luna: …

Isshin: No! –slaps Ichigo-

Ichigo: Hey! What the fu-

Me: Hehe… next… Rukia, here's a hundred chappy plushies, compliments of Luna.

Rukia: Th-th-thank you Luna! –eyes glitter-

Luna: No problem! I'm sorry about the previous dare…

Rukia: I-it's OK!

Me: Now Byakuya has to-

Byakuya: I refuse.

Me: Well… I really don't want you to do this but Luna says you have to… -sigh- I can't threaten you, Byakuya… Luna?

Luna: Bankai! Tsukihime no Sora! –smacks Byakuya- Bakudo No. 99 Part 1, Kin! –binds Byakuya-

Byakuya: …

Yoruichi: Hehe… Bya-kun, should'a worked on your shunpo!

Luna: -bankai disappears- Ha! Didn't let you even draw your katana!

Me: So he could defeat you if he did…

Luna: -shrugs- Possibly… -draws razor blade and advances towards Byakuya-

Byakuya: -lets out reiatsu-

Luna: -cuts off all of Byakuya's hair-

Byakuya: O_O –manages to break free-

Luna: -snickers- too late.

Me: Aw… he still looks hot without his sexy hair.

Byakuya: O_O

Yachiru: SUGAR RUSH! –gulps down sugar- HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI BYAKUSHI YOUR BALD NOW YOU CAN HAVE FUN WITH BALDY-CHAN!

Ikkaku: …

Me: Aw… I feel bad for Byakuya so I'm gonna give him his hair back,

Luna: Hey!

Me: -glares- I'm writing this thing! –restores Byakuya's hawt hair-

Luna: 'Kay…

Me: -sob- now Yachiru has to go on yet ANOTHER sugar rush…

Yachiru: HIHIHIHIHI ICHI IS ALL CUT UP OUTSIDE YAYAYYAYA AND KENCHAN KILLED 15 PEOPLE ALREADY BY ACCIDENT!

Isane: -hurries out-

Me: Actually, I don't think Yachiru has recovered from the Monster yet, so I think we don't need to give her more sugar.

Luna: Okay.

Orihime: Yay! Now I get to cook something!

Me: Remember, healthy.

Orihime: Oh… -looks through recipes- Here's one! –starts cooking-

Me: OK, the next dare is-

Orihime: Done!

Me: Already?

Orihime: Yup! Here, I scrambled an egg.

Me: OK… I guess that's healthy…

Rangiku: -eats it-

Me: Thanks, Orihime. The next dare is for Hitsugaya. He has to fight Luna.

Hitsugaya: OK…

Luna: Yay! –drags him outside-

Me: Now we wait.

-AFTER A WHILE-

Hitsugaya: -comes in- Oof.

Luna: Yay… I won! Ow…

Me: Haha! Mr. Genius got beaten!

Momo: Don't be mean! –rushes to Hitsugaya-

Me: Sorry… Hitsugaya is cool… that's just funny though.

Luna: Well I'm off!

Me: Bye and thanks for coming!

OK PEOPLES THAT WAS CHAPTER 6! PLEASE SEND ME YOUR VOTES FOR WHO SHOULD HOST! I THINK WE'RE AT 2 FOR GIN 1 FOR YACHIRU AND ONE FOR YAMAMOTO! THANKS FOR READING!

**PS: SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO POST…**


	8. yet More yaoi and yet more caffeine

BTW I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS RATED T. I GUESS IT'S JUST CUZ SOMETIME'S I'M REALLY PISSED AND I MAKE GRIMMJOW CURSE A LOT.

SORRY IF IT'S A BIT OCC CUZ I KNOW GRIMMJOW WOULD NEVER LISTEN TO ME FOR REAL.

Me: OK! Review from **apola55. **

_muwahahahahahahaha! the rabid yaoi fangirl has returned! first byakuya youve_

_had enought pain with all the ganster stuff wich i hate so make out with_

_renji! and GRIMMKITTY make out with the L wannabe ulquiorra (if you havint_

_noticed ulqui looks alot like L) yumichika are you gay cuz you really act like_

_it and if you are do you love ikkaku and shiro-chan the reason i said rangiku_

_is because of all the captianXlutenant pairings like ginXizuru byaren and even_

_a lil aizenXmomo ^^ aaaah the yaoi be glad i dot pair you with the fox faced_

_bitch freak gin and gin you and aizen need to go die in a hole cuz i hate you_

_both and so does every one else and if widdle aizen is scared heres a life_

_sized ulqui doll do you dont pee yourself ^_^_

Renji: AAH! RABID YAOI FANGIRL!

Ichigo: I don't think there's a single piece of punctuation in that entire thing.

Me: -checks- Do parentheses count? AND there is an exclamation point.

Ichigo: Dunno.

Gin: …

Aizen: …

Me: Hehe… Aizen does need to go die in a hole. Very. Slowly. Yeah, I get the whole captainXlieutenant pairing thing, Hitsugaya is just dense.

Hitsugaya: …

Me: First… ugh. ByaRen. Personally, I hate that pairing because Byakuya is too cool for lil' Renji, but the reviewer says that it must be done, so it shall.

Renji: No way!

Byakuya: I refuse.

Me: -sighs- I thought we were past all the stubbornness? _Resistance is futile. _Borg thing.

Renji: …

Me: OK, since I feel bad for Byakuya, Renji has to kiss him, not the other way around.

Renji: No!

Me: Ugh. Look, I have author power. I can do awful things to you…

Renji: Oh yeah?

Me: -sighs-

Renji: Omigod! Did you, like, see the last episode of Barbie? It was so, like SEXY! Ken is so HOT!

Rukia: Renji?

Renji: Did I just say that?

Me: Told you I had author power.

Renji: OK! I'll make out with him. –tries to make out with Byakuya-

Byakuya: -shunpoes away-

Me: -sighs- This is SO annoying. Yoruichi, a little help please?

Yoruichi: -pins Byakuya down-

Renji: -makes out with Byakuya- Urgh… Sorry, taichou! She made me.

Byakuya: Consider your pay docked by half.

Renji: Wha…

Ichigo: -snickers-

Me: Shut up Ichigo. Now… "Grimmkitty" has to make out with "L-wannabe Ulquiorra"

Gin: Yay! My espada can join the fun!

Grimmjow: L?

Me: YES L! See I totally support the theory that since STUPID LIGHT BASTARD killed L, he became a Hollow, then a Vasto Lorde since he's so frickin awesome. Aizen came along and turned him into Ulquiorra Schiffer, arrancar and espada. BUT the only thing wrong with that is that L's personality is so much cooler than Ulquiorra's.

Grimmjow: Ulquiorra doesn't even have a personality.

Me: So true… now Grimmjow has to make out with Ulquiorra.

Grimmjow: What the fuck? Why the hell would I want to do such a goddamn stupid thing like that?

Me: Because I'll make you sing Barbie Girl if you don't.

Grimmjow: You can't do that!

Me: Watch me.

Grimmjow: _I'm a Barbie girl, In a Barbie world. Life in Plastic; it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, _OK OK STOP IT I'LL FUCKIN DO IT BITCH _undress me anywhere. Imagination, life is your creation!_

Me: That last bit was for calling me a bitch. Now make out with L II.

Grimmjow: -scowls- Hey, Cuatro!

Ulquiorra: -appears- What is it?

Grimmjow: -tackles him and makes out with him-

Me: Isn't he enthusiastic?

Grimmjow: -gets up- Hey, it was the only way I could stop him from running away.

Me: Or so he says…

Grimmjow: Shut the fuck up woman!

Me: -snickers-

Ulquiorra: -stares-

Me: Hehe… OK… now, Yumichika, are you gay?

Yumichika: I'm bi.

Me: OK… uh… actually I kind of thought that. Makes sense. Do you love Ikkaku?

Yumichika: Of course not! He's my friend.

Me: Good. I hate the IkkaYumi pairing.

Me: And here's a life-size Ulquiorra doll for you, Aizen.

Aizen: -incinerates it-

Me: What a waste. –whacks Aizen on the head-

Rangiku: OK! The next review is from **Elisa calton. **

_hi! for dares:_

_Ulquiorra: can i have a make-out session with you? please? (if he says no make_

_him *evil grin*)_

_hitsugaya :how old were you when you went to soul society? cause your really_

_short_

_yachiru: your so cute! *huggles* have a cookie! *hands a special_

_hyper-caffeinated cookie*_

_Ken-Chan: ummm, get in a suit (that was lame)_

_hichigo: chop off ichigos head (that's what he gets for killing ulqui-Chan)_

_GIN SHOULD HOST (i would say ulqui-chan but that wouldn't work)_

Me: Hi! Of course you can!

Ulquiorra: I refuse.

Me: Wow, you're just like Byakuya. OK, if you don't do it, I'll make your precious AIZEN-SAMA do it instead, and believe me, I have no bad feelings about hurting Aizen whatsoever.

Ulquiorra: -hesitates- Fine.

Elisa: -tackles Ulquiorra-

Me: While they're having fun, Hitsugaya has to answer the truth.

Momo: You ARE really short, Shiro-Chan!

Hitsugaya: -sighs- I was 12 when I died.

Me: Aw… then you can date Karin!

Karin/Hitsugaya: I don't want to date -points in disgust- him/her!

Me: Now a hug and cookie from Elisa, who I believe is done making out with Ulquiorra. No, wait, never mind, she's back at it again.

Yachiru: Yay! Hugs! –eats cookie-

Me: Oh hey, I just noticed, Yachiru is finally over the sug-

Yachiru: IHIIHIHIHIHIH HUGS YAYYAYAYAYA SHIRO-CHAN IS A WIDDLE LIDDLE TEENSY WEENSY BOYAYAYAY!

Me: Damn. –hands Zaraki a suit- Bathroom's to your-

Zaraki: Right. –leaves-

Me: Hichigo? You can now chop off Ichigo's head –hands him an axe-

Hichigo: Yeah!

Ichigo: Wait wha-?

Hichigo: -chops off Ichigo's head-

Me: Yay! Bye-bye to one of my least favorite characters!

Hichigo: but now I can't use Ichigo's body… -fades away-

Me: Killed two birds with on stone. Where _is _Zaraki?

Zaraki: -comes out-

Me: Aaah…

Yachiru: KEN-CHAN LOOKS LIKE HES FROM THE MAFIAIAIAIAIIAIIAIA HIHIHIHI IIHIHIHHIHI!

Me: Get that off _right now, _Zaraki, you look like a hit man assassin. It's scaring me.

Gin: Not as much as Grimmjow singing Barbie Girl did.

Me: True… that was disturbing.

Grimmjow: -glares-

Me: The next review is from **ultima-owner. **

_Rangiku Matsumoto eat a sake apple( 90% alcohol, epicly strong stuff)_

Rangiku: OK… -searches in Hitsugaya's desk- I knew I had one somewhere in here.

Hitsugaya: MATSUMOTO! How much alcohol do you keep in my desk?

Rangiku: N-not m-much, T-taich-chou…

Me: Remember, ranks don't matter in here.

Rangiku: But they will when we leave.

Kyoraku: Eat the sake apple, Rangiku-chan! (Thinks: Now I can drink booze and Nanao-chan will think I'm eating healthy fruit so she won't take it away…)

Rangiku: OK… -takes a bite, then eats the whole thing-

Me: Well?

Rangiku: Hey, it's not strong at all –stops and stares- -eyes glaze-

Hitsugaya: Matsumo-

Rangiku: T-taich-chou-ou! –staggers over and starts suffocating him with her boobs-

Hitsugaya: -muffled- Mahumoho!

Gin: Oi! Ran-chan, let him go!

Rangiku: -lets go- Oh-oh, Gin-kun my d-darling f-foxy boy who r-ran off w-with h-his Aiz-zen-S-sama. –draws Haineko and starts swinging it at him- Wanna k-kill s-sezy Gin-kun… -collapses-

Me: Gah! Someone get her onto a bed.

Hitsugaya: Your bed?

Me: -considers- Uh, no, actually, you can just leave her there.

Hitsugaya: OK.

Me: OK THAT'S CHAPPY SEVEN R&R AND I'LL LUV YA FOREVA!

**OK AS I JUST SAID R&R (WELL YOU JUST READ IT DUH SO NOW DO THE SECOND R) ALSO TELL ME WHO YAH WANT TO HOST I THINK WE'RE AT 3 OR 4 FOR GIN I THINK IT'S 3 YEAH IT'S 3, ONE FOR YAMA-JII AND ONE FOR YACHIRU (YAY GIN IS WINNING!)**

PS: SRY if the next chapters take a while to come out… I got all the reviews and WILL do them… promise ˆˆ


	9. Hot Pink Tights and Victoria's Secret

Me: Hello everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been able to post for a while… I'm really lazy. This review is from **SeasprayLuv3. **

_Lol, I love it! So funny!_

_Okay, for the record... I say that you should make Kisuke the host!_

_Hmmm... for my dares..._

_Okay, first Uryuu (I think that's how you spell his name...) do you love_

_Orihime? Tell the truth! If you lie, you WILL get zapped with the_

_lie-detector!_

_Next, I dare Ichigo, Renji and Byakuya to dress up in hot pink tights and_

_shiny black and silver leopard print tube-tops, and sing 'Men in Tights'._

_After that... I want Light Yagami (I do so love Death Note ^/v/^) and Aizen to_

_have a fight TO THE DEATH!_

_L and Ulquiorra get to watch._

_Finally, I dare you to get Ichigo drunk, and let him go in Victoria's Secret!_

_Grimmjow and Kisuke too._

_Thanks!_

_SeasprayLuv 3_

Me: Aww… thanks!

Ishida: Yes that's how you spell my name.

Me: Do you like Orihime?

Ishida: -blushes- N-no, I don't. But I like her as a friend…

Me: -waits for lie detector to zap Ishida- Oh, I guess he's telling the truth then.

Orihime: -blushes-

Me: Next dare. –looks and gasps- Not Byakuya too!

Rangiku: I think you have an unhealthy obsession for that man.

Me: I'm not obsessed with him! I just think that it's seriously demeaning to have him dress in hot pink tights and a leotard.

Ichigo: What about me and Renji?

Me: -shrugs- I don't care. You two have done stupider things.

Ichigo: -glares-

Renji: Anyway, we all refuse.

Me: OK, Ichigo and Renji, if you don't do this I will tear out your oddly-colored hair, put on a female wig on both of you, give you both a boob job and set Chizuru on you.

Ichigo and Renji: O_O OK…

Me: -looks around helplessly- But I can't force Byakuya to do something like this –runs away-

Everyone: …

Gin: Well, since I'm in the lead for the host currently, I think that I will take over for the moment.

Renji: Hey, wait a-

Gin: -smiles creepily-

Renji: -shuts up-

Gin: Good boy. Now Mr. Bya-kun, you sure you don't want to do this?

Byakuya: Absolutely. And my name is Kuchi-

Gin: All right. Then I chain you to my bed, take all your clothes off, and lick-

Byakuya: You need not finish that sentence.

Gin: So you'll do it?

Byakuya: No.

Gin: I'll lick you all over, and then I'll take my hands and-

Byakuya: Fine.

Gin: Bye-bye! You should know where the bathroom is! –to himself- I might actually do that anyway…

Ichigo, Renji and Byakuya: -leave-

Gin: Now-

Me: Uh… Gin, I'll take over now.

Gin: Aww…

Me: Sorry. Now Light Yagami has to fight Aizen to the death, with L and Ulquiorra watching.

Light and L: -appear-

Me: Argh! I hate you Light you're a disgusting bastard with no morals! And you killed L! And you had Mello killed! And you killed Naomi! And did you know that your name backwards is "I am gay"?

Everyone: YOU KILLED L! GET HIM! –attacks Light-

Light: Aah! Who are you people?

L: -walks up to Ulquiorra- My, you look just like me.

Ulquiorra: …

Me: OK! Fight to the death! –sets up ring and drags Aizen and Light into it- Start!

Everyone: GO AIZEN! KILL THAT DIRTY BASTARD!

Me: Wow, even the Visords are rooting for Aizen.

Light: -tries to dodge Aizen's stabs- Excuse me, you said your name is Aizen? And your first name is…

Aizen: -smiles evilly and draws sword-

Light: Argh… MISA! MISA WHERE ARE YOU? MIKAMI?

Me: They're in another universe.

Light: Argh!

Aizen: Impressive that you managed to survive for so long.

Light: It hasn't even been a minute!

Aizen: Exactly.

Light: RYUK! –dies-

Everyone: Yay! Light is dead!

L: But you had no evidence to support the fact that he was Kira, so why did you kill him?

Aizen: Why not?

L: Ah… I see. Now how do I get- -is mobbed by female bleach characters-

Orihime: L-chan! –hugs-

Momo: You're so cute! –hugs-

Rangiku: I love you! –kisses-

L: -peers at them- Oh… you're from Bleach. You're Orihime, you're Hinamori and you're Rangiku. I believe you're the characters Matsuda continues to drool over during break?

Me: How do you know that?

L: From watching Matsuda, of course. I possess photographic memory.

Me: Uh… OK. Bye, L. –whisks L away after getting his autograph-

Rukia: Are Ichigo and Renji –giggles- in their outfit yet?

Me: Don't forget, Byakuya had to do this to!

Rukia: Nii-Sama! Oh, how could anyone force him to do such a degrading thing?

Byakuya: -from bathroom- Rukia, could I ask you to step out for a moment?

Rukia: Of course, Nii-Sama!

Rangiku: Don't worry, I'll tape Ichigo and Renji for you!

Rukia: Thank you! –leaves-

Byakuya, Ichigo and Renji: -come out-

Everyone, yes, Hitsugaya too: -bursts out laughing-

Byakuya: …

Ichigo and Renji: Shut up!

Karin: Remember what I said about Ichi-nii being gay? This just prov-

Ichigo: Shut it, Karin! Jeez, I don't remember you being so snide in the regular storyline!

Me: She's not. I just like her this way. Karin is awesome!

Everyone else: -stares at Byakuya, Ichigo and Renji-

Me: -looks at Byakuya- Omigod… You all look like gay prostitutes! Except Byakuya is the only good-looking gay prostitute.

Rangiku: Y'know… -considers- Ichigo and Renji just look like dorks.

Ichigo and Renji: Hey!

Rangiku: But Byakuya… STILL LOOKS HOT! –hugs Byakuya-

Hitsugaya: Well aren't you bold today.

Rangiku: Jealous, taichou?

Hitsugaya: Don't even let your thinking go there.

Byakuya: -pushes Rangiku away-

Me: Now sing Men in Tights!

Ichigo, Renji: _We're men, we're men in tights. We roam around the forest looking for fights. _

Ichigo: _We're men, we're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! _Hey, Byakuya's not singing!

Me: He's moving his lips.

Renji: _We may look like sissies but watch what you say or we'll put out your lights! _That's all he has to do?

Me: Yup! –films Ichigo and Renji-

Ichigo: _We're Men in tights! _Oh, come on!

Me: Man up. Now while the boys are embarrassing themselves, let's go on to the next dare!

Orihime: But it has Kurosaki-kun in it!

Me: Yeah, but Kisuke and Grimmjow are too.

Yoruichi: Oi! Kisuke!

Kisuke: Yes?

Yoruichi: -shunpoes in front of Kisuke and shoves sake bottle in his mouth-

Kisuke: Mmph! –glug glug-

Me: That was a very… _forward _approach, Yoruichi.

Yoruichi: Why, thank you.

Kisuke: -stumbles around-

Me: I'll get Grimmjow. Oi! Blue Kitty-boy!

Grimmjow: -turns around- WHAT the fuck did ya call me?

Me: -plants feet on Grimmjow's chest and pushes him to the floor-

Grimmjow: Hey! What the-

Me: -pins Grimmjow down and pours sake down his throat-

Grimmjow: MMPH! Wha de fru?

Me: -Releases him- OK. –sits back-

Kisuke and Grimmjow: -eyes glaze-

Rangiku: To Victoria's Secret!

Me: Wait, Ichigo's done singing.

Ichigo: _When you're in a fix just call for men in tights! WE'RE BUTCH! _Whew, finally done-

Rangiku: -Shoves sake bottle in Ichigo's mouth-

Ichigo: Wmph de fumph Rmphgiku!

Me: He doesn't need that much, because he's about 17.

Rangiku: This isn't that much!

Ichigo: -has drank about 6 bottles of sake-

Me: OK! –shoves them into Victoria's Secret-

Ichigo: -looks blearily around-

Kisuke: -stumbles to the bras- O-oi, Kitty-ch-chan, d-don't th-these look p-perfect on me? –puts bra on his chest-

Everyone: O_O

Grimmjow: AAH… a-all th-these th-things are att-tta-tacking m-me! –wildly spins and knocks down racks- G-grind pan-pantera!

Ichigo: Aah, G-grimmj-jow, y-you're r-right! The b-bras are out t-to k-kill us. Bankai!

Me: Oh _shit_.

Kisuke: -covered in bras-

Ichigo: T-the b-bras have t-taken over U-urahara-s-san! A-attck!

Grimmjow: Y-yeah! –leaps at Kisuke-

Ichigo: -joins Grimmjow-

Kisuke: -swaying in circles-

Me: OMIGOD!

Yoruichi: Kisuke!

Ichigo, Grimmjow, and Kisuke: -suddenly collapse-

Me: Whew. I guess these three can't hold their drink.

Everyone else: -giggles nervously-

Soi Fon: Hmph. I thought that they had finally got him.

Yoruichi: Aw, Soi Fon! Aren't you glad your Kisuke isn't dead?

Soi Fon: M-my Kisuke?

OK THAT'S CHAPTER EIGHT (I THINK). PLEASE REVIEW

**THE VOTES FOR HOST ARE:**

**GIN: 3**

**YACHIRU: 1**

**YAMAMOTO: 1**

**KISUKE: 1**


	10. Barbie Girl and Duck Suits

Me: OK more reviews! This one's from **IdentifiedLune1998**

_thx for let me join. Ha, fear my moon power but my sister's bankai it's a bit wierd plus Tsukihime sleeping and my sis zanpakuto in the real form they keep fight cause they like counterpart of good and evil, anyway the dares_

_Ichigo: if someone want ot date your sisters show the demonstration to Aizen (i mean beat the crap of Aizen if you wrong you going to feel my bankai and my moon powers. note: prepare you self you can kill him but i can revive him of my zanpakuto yes my differents from other zanpakuto is healing powers)_

_Isshin: you're a womanizer freak, i want you to fight me to the death_

_Rukia: if you me nice i give you 1 million dollar for buying chappy_

_Byakuya: i love to torture you sassy queen, i dare you to dress as a balerina and sing barbie girl_

_Toshiro: sugar rush for you and started playing with AK-47_

_Orihime: your scramble egg taste good for the reward you get a cook book of fancy food_

_Everyone: it's time to get Byakuya's kenseikan on his hair_

_Tsukihime: -wakes up "what the hell are you doing ? "_

_Me: " Duh, send some dares and next i daring you"_

_Tsukihime: " uh-oh" -go back to sleep-_

_SAYONARA!_

Aizen: …

Me: Luna, just saying, call Byakuya a sassy queen again and I won't respond to your dares! –glare-

Byakuya: …

Ichigo: Uh… I have to beat up Aizen? OK…

Aizen: Your sisters are eleven years old.

Karin: And?

Ichigo: Uh, Karin… this guy is a cold-blooded murderer…

Karin: I was _kidding_.

Ichigo: Oh…

Me: Now GO!

Ichigo: -tries to punch Aizen-

Aizen: -stops it with one finger-

Me: Uh oh… This might turn out to just become a fight between Ichigo and Aizen…

Yachiru: -ties Aizen's hands behind his back- There, now Ichii can beat up Traitor-chan!

Aizen: _Traitor-chan?_

Ichigo: -punches Aizen-

Me: Uh… he's unconscious Ichigo… you can stop…

Ichigo: Uh… OK…

Ulquiorra: Aizen-sama. –runs to get medication-

Me: Now Isshin the "womanizer freak" has to fight Luna. Actually, he's not a womanizer; he's just a perv.

Isshin: All right! –makes scary face- BRING IT ON!

Luna: All right! –leaves with Isshin-

Rukia: Now I get… A MILLION DOLLARS! YAY THANK YOU! –runs off to buy a million dollar's worth of chappy-

Me: Uh… have fun Rukia?

Byakuya: -looks at next dare- I refuse to dress as a ballerina.

Yoruichi: C'mon, Bya-kun, or else I'll set Gin on you.

Byakuya: -looks at drooling Gin- All right. –leaves-

Me: Poor Byakuya…

Rangiku: Now Shiro-chan goes on a sugar rush!

Hitsugaya: No!

Yachiru: SHIRO! –shoves candy in Hitsugaya's mouth-

Hitsugaya: Not again- -eyes glaze-

Me: Here we go again.

Hitsugaya: AHAHHAHA AIZEN TRAITOR IS MESSMESSMESSMESSED UPUPUPUPUP! AHAHAHAHAHA SUUUUGAAAAARRRRR!

Momo: Shiro-chan…

Hitsugaya: HIIHIHIHIHIH MOMOMOMO –kisses Momo-

Momo: -blushes- Aww… Shiro-chan!

Me: Uh… now we give him a gun?

Hitsugaya: GUNGUNGUN SUGAR!

Me: That may not be the BEST of ideas-

Rangiku: Here, Shiro-chan! –hands Hitsugaya a gun-

Everyone: RANGIKU!

Rangiku: Yes?

Hitsugaya: -starts firing gun- BANGBANGBANGBANG!

Me: EVERYONE DUCK FOR COVER!

Hitsugaya: -gun runs out- AWWWW NONONONO BANGBANGBANG ALL GONE!

Me: -locks Hitsugaya in closet- He can stay there until the sugar wears off.

Ichigo: Uh… -hears thumps coming from closet- OK… Where _is _Dad?

Isshin: -walks in- OUCH

Luna: Teehee, I beat him! OUCH

Isshin: Not by that much… OUCH

Yuzu: Daddy!

Isshin: Daddy's OK… OUCH

Luna: -uses her healing power- OK, bye-bye!

Me: Bye!

Renji: Oi, where did taichou go? He's taking an awfully long time to change.

Me: He's… uh…

Ichigo: Don't tell me you let him escape!

Me: Uh… about that…

Gin: -comes in with Byakuya in a leotard-

Me: Byakuya!

Byakuya: … I had to come back with him. –moves hurriedly away from Gin-

Gin: Teehee.

Everyone: -staring at Byakuya in a leotard-

Rangiku: S-so _thin…_

Me: Uh… Byakuya… the tutu was there for reason…

Byakuya: Excuse me?

Ichigo: -looks at Byakuya- Wha—AAH MY EYES!

Karin: Ichi-nii is really good at acting.

Ichigo: I'm not acting!

Me: Just please put something on to cover –gestures- _there…_

Byakuya: If you insist. –puts on hakama-

Me: Whew.

Gin: Now sing Barbie Girl, Bya-kun!

Byakuya: Please refer to me as Kuchiki-taichou.

Yoruichi: Aw, Bya-kun, what went up your ass and died?

Byakuya: … -in monotone- I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Life in Plastic, it's fantastic.

Ichigo: Hey, he doesn't have to sing?

Me: Nope! Now Orihime gets a cooking book because of her delicious scrambled eggs! (I haven't tried them yet… not sure I want to)

Orihime: Oh thank you so much Luna! –takes cookbook- Now to start cooking! –runs off-

Me: Byakuya's kenseikan? Uh… where do I get those?

Kisuke: Never fear! I have enough for everyone! –pulls out box-

Byakuya: …

Me: OK, everyone put them on!

Rukia: B-but… we're not nobles!

Kisuke: They're for cosplay! See? Made out of cardboard.

Rukia: OK…

Everyone: -puts on kenseikan-

Byakuya: …

Yachiru: YAY hair noodles!

Byakuya: … -glare-

Me: Um… OK…

Rangiku: OK, the next review is from **JadeKurosaki.**

_Yoruichi should be the host._

_I love Ichigo so Die his hair back to normal. He has to kiss me too (Grinns_

_evilly)_

_He and his inner hallow have to make a deal with each other to not try and_

_kill each other. I'm sending my inner hollow over there:Shiva, to make sure_

_they do. Yachiru: More Sugar! Ichigo gets to sit back and watch the others_

_in next chapter. I might come on the scean too. Make Toshiro and Karin make_

_out. Make Yoruichi and Soi Fon make out. Make Yourichi and Udahara make out._

_Make Ed from fullmetal Alchemist come back and for him and Toshiro to be in_

_duck suits!_

_Yay for me and more chappies for Rukia!_

Me: OK…

Karin: Hey, Ichi-nii, you can dye your hair orange again. Your girlfriend says so. Huh… guess she didn't know Ichi-nii is gay.

Ichigo: KARIN! For the last fucking time I am not fucking GAY!

Karin: Whatever you say, Ichi-nii.

Ichigo: Humph. –leaves-

Me: OK, here's the plan, Jade. When Ichigo comes out, you kiss him! OK?

Jade: Got it!

Ichigo: -comes out- I'm do- MMPH!

Me: -smirk-

Ichigo: MMPH MPH! WHMPH DM FUCMPHH!

Jade: Yay!

Ichigo: What the- Who are you?

Jade: -hurt- I'm Jade.

Ichigo: Who?

Jade: YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

Ichigo: My what?

Me: Never mind. Jade. He'll never get it.

Jade: -sigh- -leaves-

Me: Now Ichigo and his inner Hollow have to make a deal to stop fighting each other. Shiva is here to make sure that happens.

Shiva: Yo.

Hichigo: No way am I gonna fuc-

Shiva: -slams Hichigo's head into the ground- Do it, bitch.

Hichigo: What the fuck? Why do I have to do what you're telling me to do?

Shiva: Cuz your head is currently under my foot, genius.

Hichigo: -considers- Fine, bitch.

Shiva: -kicks Hichigo in the face-

Hichigo: What the fuck?

Shiva: For callin' me a bitch.

Hichigo: You called me a fucking bitch!

Shiva: It's only OK when I do it. Now make peace with your human.

Ichigo: …

Hichigo: Fine. Ichigo, I won't try to kill you for five months, OK?

Ichigo: Uh… OK…

Hichigo: -disappears-

Shiva: Adios, bitches.

Me: … Uh bye? –looks at dare- Uh… I'm pretty sure Yachiru eating sugar has been done before… a LOT…

Yachiru: -glomps a cupcake-

Me: Uh oh…

Yachiru: AYAYYAYAYAYAYUAYYYAYAYAYA SUUUUGAAAAARRRRR!

Me: Argh.

Zaraki: A day in my life.

Me: But you have immunity.

Zaraki: Still.

Me: Oh, Jade, about Ichigo getting to sit back… I'm afraid that's not allowed.

Ichigo: WHAT?

Me: You have to suffer like the rest of us.

Ichigo: Whaddya mean us? You haven't had to do any dares or truths or anything!

Me: Shhhh! Don't give the fangirls ideas!

Ichigo: OI FANGIRLS DARE THIS CHICK T-

Me: -knocks out Ichigo- Hmph.

Rangiku: Shiro-chan! Look at the next dare! You get to make out with Ichigo's sister!

Hitsugaya: -looks- What? Karin?

Karin: Who said my name?

Rangiku: Oi Karin-chan! LOOK at the dare!

Karin: Don't call me Karin-cha- WHA? –looks at Hitsugaya- HIM?

Hitsugaya: Thanks.

Karin: I don't kiss people! Especially not some elementary student who happens to be a shinigami!

Hitsugaya: Shinigami captain.

Karin: Plus, he said he liked that other girl…

Ichigo: HAH! KARIN LIKES TOSHIRO!

Karin: I do not! You're more likely to than I am!

Ichigo: Nuh-uh, cuz I'm NOT GAY!

Karin: Yes you are!

Ichigo: Where's your proof?

Karin: OK. One, Rukia-chan stayed in your room for over a month and you didn't hit on her. Two, Yoruichi-san got naked in front of him. And didn't turn you on. Three, Rangiku-san was trying to lift her skirt for you and you looked away. You are gay for Toshiro because when he became an outlaw you were all like, oh my god, I have to save my Toshiro! (bleach movie 2)

Ichigo: …

Hitsugaya: … -moves away from Ichigo-

Ichigo: Hey, wait, Toshiro, don't tell me you believe this crap?

Karin: Not crap. Fact.

Ichigo: But how can I be gay if I have a crush on…

Me: Tatsuki.

Ichigo: -looks away- Yeah…

Tatsuki: -blushes-

Keigo: OH MY GOD! ARISAWA-SAN BLUSHED!

Tatsuki: -punches Keigo in the face-

Me: -whispers to Karin- Actually, Ichigo isn't gay. He might be bi in the future, but for now he's just a childish teenager who has crushes on random people.

Karin: Yeah, I know. It's just fun to piss him off.

Me: Oh… Well, we're getting a little off track here… Karin, kiss Hitsugaya.

Karin: No!

Hitsugaya: No.

Me: Please? You are such a cute couple, even if Hitsugaya likes Momo.

Momo: -is watching this sadly-

Karin: EEW!

Hitsugaya: -Is really tired of this- Fine, then can we stop this awful argument?

Karin: Wait, wha—

Hitsugaya: -quickly kisses Karin-

Karin: MMPH! Get off of me! –kicks Hitsugaya in the face-

Ichigo: You're blushing, Karin.

Karin: Am not! –hides face—

Me: That took a while. Now, Soi Fon and Yoruichi have to make out.

Soi Fon: Y-yoruichi-sama? –blushes-

Yoruichi: Aww… Soi Fon! –kisses Soi Fon-

Soi Fon: Y-yoru- -faints—

Yoruichi: Hehe.

Me: See, Hitsugaya? That was so EASY!

Hitsugaya: …

Me: Now-

Yoruichi: -is making out with Kisuke-

Me: Hehe… well then… uh…

Everyone except Byakuya: -stare-

Me: Erm… next dare?

Ed: Hey.

Hitsugaya: Oh. Metal-arm boy.

Me: Duck suits! They're in the bathroom. Which is to your right. Adios!

Ed and Hitsugaya: -leave-

Me: While we're waiting, Rukia gets more chappies!

Rukia: Th-thanks… -is covered in a mountain of chappies-

Hitsugaya and Ed: -come out-

Momo: EEK! Shiro-chan you look so cute! –hugs him-

Hitsugaya: Momo… -blushes-

Rangiku: Aww…

Me: -takes pictures-

Ed: … can I take this off now?

Me: I guess.

Ed and Hitsugaya: -leave-

Me: OK, that's chapter 9! Wow… sorry it took a while to submit!

**OK DO ME A FAVOR AND DO **_**NOT **_**SEND IN REVIEWS BECAUSE I STILL HAVE NINE TO DO AND DON'T WANT TO ADD TO THAT LIST!**

**VOTES ARE AT:**

**GIN: 3**

**YACHIRU: 1**

**YAMAMOTO: 1**

**KISUKE: 1**

**YORUICHI: 1**

**THANKS FOR READING! Oh and a question for my Japanese readers: what chapter is Kubo Tite up to in the bleach manga? (in japanese)  
**


	11. Facing Fears and the Sexy Bunny

ARGH I GOT REVIEWS PLEASE DON'T SEND ME THEM I HAVE 10 TO DO ALREADY! I REALLY WANT TO WORK ON MY DEATH NOTE STORY AND I HAVE TO FINISH MY NANA/BLEACH CROSSOVER SO PLEASE DON'T SEND ME REVIEWS!

Me: Welcome to… uh… I haven't named this yet, have I?

Ichigo: -shakes head-

Me: Well, this review is from my faithful reader **ultima-owner**!

_Kenny and Ichigo: Tell everyone what your greatest fear is. When you do, you_

_have to face your own fear._

Zaraki: I don't have a fear.

Me: Everyone does! Even Mr. Big-and-scary.

Yachiru: AHAHAHA Mr. Big-and-scary Ken-chan!

Zaraki: Whatever… well I guess I fear for Yachiru getting hurt.

Ichigo: Yeah… same for Karin and Yuzu.

Me: Well aren't you big boys! Now face that fear! Gin and Aizen, go attack the girls in question.

Aizen and Gin: …

Me: Now! –kicks them—

Aizen: -Approaches Yachiru-

Yachiru: Hi-YA! -kicks Aizen in the balls—

Aizen: Ow.

Gin: -approaches Karin—Hello little girl—

Karin: Karin DEEEAAAAATH SHOOOOTTTTTTTT! –kicks soccer ball in Gin's face-

Gin: Ow.

Me: Well, Zaraki and Ichigo, I don't think you have to worry about them getting hurt!

Zaraki and Ichigo: …

Me: Well that was a short review! The next one is from **Neko-Shakaku. **

_YESH I am back~_

_Ohhhh Toushi-chan...you and Hisagi have to make-out. X3_

_Grimm-neko-chan has to have a make-out session with ulqui-chan while_

_ulqui-chan is chained to a wall in only his Ulqui chibi boxers :3_

_Gin... be a good lil foxy-woxy and go sing 'blah blah blah' by kesha for_

_aizen... xD_

_Toushi-chan -evil smirk- DRess as a sexy bunny girl and stay in that cosplay_

_for 4 chapters.I want to see how long it takes for someone to hit on you~_

_ITSYGO!(couldn't resit X3) oh... btw... MAKEOUT WITH RUKIA-CHAN! WITH TONGUE!_

_Um lets seee... soi Fon and Yourichi, kissy kissy~_

_-smirk- Ikkaku and Yumi-chan have to kissy kissy too~_

_I think thats all... I think. not making any promi- Oh wait~_

_Shirou-neko-chan(ya i went there) when kusaka died, you were upset... the_

_reason being was probably was he was your first wuver right?_

THATS ALL NOW WUV YOU'S! -air kissy-

Rangiku: I have a hard time deciphering those names.

Me: Well, WAIT! I SPOT ICHIRUKI! –crosses out- Sorry, no IchiRuki. It was in the RULES!

Rangiku: Well… uh… OK…

Me: OK: Toushi-chan is Hitsugaya. Wait… or is it Tousen? Grimm-neko-chan is Grimmjow. Ulqui-chan is… well duh, Ulquiorra. Itsygo is Ichigo. Yumi-chan is duh, Yumichika. Shirou-neko-chan? Really?

Rangiku: I like Toushi-chan as Toshiro better than as stinky old Tousen. Then he gets to make out with Shuuhei! Actually, Tousen fits better there… but whatever.

Hitsugaya: Matsumoto, yaoi is not a good thing.

Me: -gasp- Are you against gay rights?

Hitsugaya: No, just rabid yaoi fangirls who want to torture me.

Me: Oh… well I would never write a yaoi story.

Ichigo: But you did!

Me: Well nothing actually happened. It was more for the humor that the yaoi.

Rukia: You made Nii-Sama be attacked by Urahara!

Me: -smirks- I liked that story. 

Byakuya: I did not.

Me: Well of course you didn't; now back to topic: Hitsugaya, kiss Hisagi.

Hitsugaya: I refu—

Rangiku: -Pushes Hisagi and Hitsugaya's heads together-

Hitsugaya and Hisagi: MMPH!

Rangiku: -waits… then lets go- There! Wasn't that hard! 

Hisagi: -pants- URGH! –runs to bathroom to wash out mouth-

Hitsugaya: -follows him-

Me: Don't mess up my bathroom!

Hitsugaya: ARGH I'M NOT GOING TO DO _THAT _WITH _HIM_! 

Me: So you'd do it with someone else?

Hitsugaya: NOOO!

Me: -snickers- So much for Ice Boy.

Gin: Aww… now Grimm-neko-chan has to make out with Ulqui-chan is his boxers!

Grimm-neko-chan: No fuckin' way! And don't call me that!

Ulqui-chan: …

Gin: Please?

Nel: Awww! Ish a Gwimm-nweko! Hesh sho cyute!

Gwimm-Nweko: Who're you?

Nel: I'm Nwel! And you'wa KWITTY CWAT! Shupa Nwel Shpeed! –rams Grimmjow-

Grimmjow: ARGH! Stop slobbering all over me, bitch! Argh! Gin, fine! I'll do it! Call her off!

Gin: -grins- All right! Nel-chan, here are some cookies! –waves cookies and throws them out the window-

Nel: CWOOKIES! –jumps after cookies-

Grimmjow: Hmph. But I'm not chaining up Ulquiorra.

Szayel: -smirks- I'll do that. Ullllllquioooooooraaaaa!

Ulquiorra: Yes? –steps forward onto floor and is surrounded but an energy wall- What is this, Octava?

Szayel: My favorite booby trap! –squeals and pushes button—

Ulquiorra: -chains appear from behind him and lash his to the wall- Damn.

Me: And he has to be naked! Except for his Ulqui-chibi boxers. Do you even have Ulqui-chibi boxers?

Ulquiorra: What are boxers?

Me: Guess not. Be right back –runs to my brother's room and pulls out Ulqui-chibi boxers and runs back- Ta-da!

Ichigo: Why does your brother have Ulquiorra boxers?

Me: -shrugs- Dunno.

Gin: -snatches boxers and runs over to Ulquiorra-

Ulquiorra: What are you doing?

Me: Isn't it obvious? He's taking off all your clothes.

Ulquiorra: I am going to kill you later Ichimaru, whether Aizen-sama likes it or not.

Gin: -smirks and strips Ulquiorra-

Grimmjow: Urgh… you don't wear underpants?

Ulquiorra: I'm a Hollow. Of course not.

Grimmjow: Well I do…

Ulquiorra: I fear for the world if we all did what you did, trash.

Grimmjow: WHAT DID YOU FUCKIN' SAY—

Me: I agree. Now Gin, _please _put the boxers on Ulquiorra. Now. And stop staring.

Grimmjow: -glares at me then looks at Gin- Ichimaru, the fuck you doing?

Gin: -stare-

Grimmjow: Oh, god.

Ulquiorra: -closes eyes-

Me: -kicks Gin is the head- You are such a _perv_. –puts boxers on Ulquiorra with eyes shut- There!

Ulquiorra: Thank you.

Me: No problem. Grimmjow, make out with him. For 10 seconds, cuz I _kinda _like this pairing.

Ulquiorra: I take it back. I do not thank you, trash.

Me: Geez, at least I restrained Gin.

Ulquiorra: I still must be, _molested _by this trash though.

Grimmjow: Trash! Let's see if you think I'm trash by the time I'm done with you! –makes out with Ulquiorra-

Ulquiorra: -screws eyes shut and doesn't move-

Everyone: -watches-

Me: -takes pictures- YAY! One of the few yaoi pairings I like!

Grimmjow: There—UGH!

Ulquiorra: -has freed himself and has kicked Grimmjow's face into the ground- Die. –fires cero at Grimmjow's face-

Me: Uh… no more Grimmjow I guess…

Ulquiorra: Now for you… -looks at me-

Me: OK, that's going a bit too far.

Ulquiorra: Silence, girl.

Me: Silence, monster-bat-thing. –points at Ulquiorra-

Ulquiorra: -can't talk or move-

Me: Hah.

Rangiku: Now Gin, sing Blah Blah Blah.

Me: Hey, Rangiku. Why are you being so nice to him. He _did _stab you ya know.

Rangiku: Oh. Yeah. –slaps Gin- There!

Me: OK, ya know if someone stabbed me I'd do _slightly _more than slap them… like mauling them. Oh well.

Gin: -smirks- OK, I'll sing! _Coming out your mouth with your blah blah blah. Zip your lip like a padlock, and meet in the back with the jack and the jukebox. _

Byakuya: I am leaving now.

Gin: Oh no you don't! –grabs Byakuya- _I don't really care where you live at. Just turn around boy let me hit that. Don't be a bitch with your chit-chit. Just show me where your dick's at!_

Byakuya: Unhand me. –swipes sword-

Gin: -drops him- Hmph. _Stop stop talking with your blah, blah, blah. Think you'll be getting this nah, nah, nah. _

Me: Well, while Gin's singing I guess we'll move on. Toushi-neko-chan has to dress up in a kitty costume for four chapters.

Hitsugaya: Please don't tell me—

Me: Yup. It's you. –boots Hitsugaya into bathroom- The kitty costume is in there!

Hitsugaya: Grr…

Rangiku: Now all we have to do is wait for someone to—

Me: Yeah, we get it, Rangiku.

Rangiku: Just reminding you.

Me: OK, while Mr. Neko-chan (that would be neko-chan-san but I feel like being American right now) is changing, next dare! Yoruichi and Soi Fon have to, ahem, "_kissy-kissy" _

Soi Fon: -blush-

Me: Hasn't this been done already?

Yoruichi: -shugs and kisses Soi Fon-

Soi Fon: Yoruichi-samaaaaaaa –faints-

Me: Well… uh… yeah. TOUSHI-NEKO-CHAN! DONE YET?

Hitsugaya: -from bathroom- YES now stop yelling!

Me: Good.

Hitsugaya: -emerges from bathroom- See? I'm dressed in this stupid- -fangirls emerge from nowhere and tackles Hitsugaya, and drag him out the door-

Me: WHOA HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE!

Ichigo: Fangirl magic. Bye, Toshiro.

Rangiku: OK, time it took for someone to hit on the Captain in a kitty costume: six seconds.

Me: Hmph. He's not even _that _hot…

Momo: I think he is. –runs off to save Hitsugaya-

Me: Well of course you would.

Gin: Now Yumi-chan and Baldy-chan have to kissy-kissy! 

Me: Oh, Gin, you're done singing. Yeah, ya do.

Yumichika: But- but-…

Me: Sorry, I don't like it either.

Yumichika: But—but—but—

Zaraki: Are you _afraid? _Be a man, not a wimp, or I'll kick you out of the Eleventh Squad.

Yumichika: -gulps- OK… -kisses Ikkaku-

Ikkaku: That's gotta be the most disturbing thing that's ever happened to me.

Me: Hmm… it could've been worse. Now, for the final truth—wait. Hitsugaya's not in here so we can't—

Momo: -drags naked Hitsugaya into room- -pant- I saved him!

Hitsugaya: -stunned-

Me: Well, you can answer to truth _after you put some clothes on!_

Hitsugaya: -dazed- O-OK… -leaves-

Me: Poor kid.

Hitsugaya: -comes back in-

Me: You better?

Hitsugaya: Yeah…

Me: Good. Now, in the words of the reviewer: "_when kusaka died, you were upset... the_

_reason being was probably was he was your first wuver right"_

Hitsugaya: -stare-

Me: wuver is lover—

Hitsugaya: -snaps- I got that!

Me: So answer the question.

Hitsugaya: Of course he wasn't my lover! We were just good friends, so I was sad when he died! Is there anything unreasonable about that?

Me: No, no, now calm down. Sheesh.

Hitsugaya: Now am I done doing stupid _annoying gay dares?_

Me: Yup.

OK YA'LL THAT'S IT FOR THIS CHAPTER! AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME? I FINALLY FINISHED IT! SORRY, I WAS AWAY FOR A MONTH SO I COULDN'T UPDATE… LOVE YOU ALL! REMEMBER, TELL ME WHO YOU WANT THE HOST TO BE!

**VOTES: **

**GIN: 3**

**YAMAMOTO: 1**

**YORUICHI: 1**

**YACHIRU: 1**

**KISUKE: 1**


	12. Tar, feathers and Aizen's secret

Me: Hello, and welcome to…

Ichigo: You _still _haven't named this.

Me: Oh. Right. Now, this next review (from **apola55**) was sent on… uh… June 3rd, so sorry responding to it took so long!

Ichigo: June 3rd? Really?

Me: I was _busy_. Now here it is:

_please yachiru as host i hate gin! and oki i under stand you dont like yumiikka and byaren but grimm ichi is my favorite yaoi muwahahahaha (evily looks at grimmjow and ichigo- do yaoi both of you! (in a nagy voice_

_0 see im using punctuation ichigo. can i push aizen and gin down a hole pretty_

_please only gin can come out cuz aizen never gets dares._

Ichigo: -stares at Grimmjow- _Him? _

Grimmjow: No fuckin' _way._

Me: -snickers- I guess I _kinda _like Grimmichi… sorta… I don't not like it, but—

Ichigo: We get it.

Me: Hmph. Now make out.

Ichigo and Grimmjow: N—

Me: _Now. _

Ichigo: -shiver- O-OK… -suddenly kisses Grimmjow and gets punched in the stomach-

Grimmjow: GET OFFA ME!

Ichigo: -points at me- She made me do it…

Grimmjow: Pathetic.

Me: -snicker- Haha. Now, yes, apola, you _may _push Gin and Aizen down a hole.

Apola: Yay.

Aizen: -smiles mysteriously and is about to say something creepy and dramatic, but he gets pushed down a hole-

Gin: Captain Ai- -gets pushed down a hole-

Apola: Ha.

Me: Hehe. I think I'm gonna keep both of you down there…

Gin: Aw… you don't wanna do that…

Me: Oh yes I do. Wait… Gin, you get to come out _only _if you promise to stop being _such a perv!_

Gin: OK.

Me: Good. –pulls Gin out-

Aizen: So you're just going to leave me here?

Me: Yup. Next review is from **akrya12**.

_i vote for gin yay_

_i dare ulquiorra and grimmjow to eat a 4 course meal of orihimes cooking XD_

_gin r u gay?_

_aizen y r u so mean_

_thats all i not a crazy fangirl_

Me: OK! Orihime, please start cooking!

Orihime: OK! –runs off to kitchen-

Grimmjow: Jeesh, that all? Eat the chick's cooking? No problem.

Hitsugaya: -looks sick- So glad isn't me…

Me: Aw, it ain't that bad! –thwacks Hitsugaya-

Hitsugaya: Are you serious?

Me: Of _course. _Now: Gin, are you gay.

Gin: -hugs Hitsugaya- Of course not.

Me: Uh… sure. Now Aizen, why are you so mean?

Aizen: …

Me: C'mon. You have to admit you are a bit of a bastard sometimes. Stabbing your lieutenant, betraying your comrades, that sort of stuff, ya know?

Aizen: I will do whatever it takes to gain power.

Me: Thought so.

Orihime: -from kitchen- GRIMM-NEKO! YOUR FOOD IS READY!

Grimm-neko: Jesus, I'm COMING! And don't call me Grimm-neko. –leaves-

Me: Bye-bye!

TEN MINUTES LATER

From the kitchen:

_Blarg blarg holy shit blargh blargh holy fucki—blargh –scream- blargh _

_Grimm-neko! Are you OK?_

_Whaddya think bitch- BLARGH BLARGH BLARGH BLARGH _

Me: Oh my.

Ichigo: That sounded painful.

Me: Somehow, I don't feel sorry for him.

Ichigo: Same here.

Me: Next review is from **ultima-owner. **

_Gin:Tar and feather yourself. Then remove it all at once._

Gin: Ouch.

Me: That sounds _so _painful… oh well. Could ya help me here, Hitsugaya and Momo?

Hitsugaya: You're going _down_, Ichimaru.

Gin: Now, now _BLEH! _

Hitsugaya: -has dumped bucket of tar on Gin-

Momo: -is spraying feathers everywhere on him-

Me: Bravo!

Gin: COUGH COUGH sadist COUGH COUGH

Me: Look who's talkin'.

Gin: …

Me: Now take it off!

Hitsugaya and Momo: -charge Gin-

Gin: OUCH! ERGH OW OH MY THE PAIN!

Me: That was a bit OOC but whatever.

Gin: -twitching on the floor-

Me: And now since we have space for a fourth review, here it is, from **Momo Aizen. **

Momo: ?

_mg funny i love it,i vote (dont kill me) sexy aizen_

_dares are..ALL YAOI! but 1_

_byakuya: make out with renji in front of yamamoto_

_aizen : marry momo (cmon we all know you WUV her)_

_gin: go around naked for the whole chapter and give izuru a lap dance_

_truths_

_byakuya: are you in love with rukia?(if you lie you have to wear pink robes for a month and sing "i feel pretty" in front of your entire squad)_

_uryuu: who do you love?_

_aizen: do you find any of your espada attractive? if so who?_

Aizen: …

Hitsugaya: Oh JOY. More yaoi.

Me: Hey, you're not in any of it so quit the complaining.

Practically everyone: SEXY AIZEN?

Me: Hey, she can have her point of view. But, Momo A., the correct term is sexy EVIL Aizen.

Ichigo: You think he's _sexy_?

Me: -shrugs- But he's too evil to be attractive. I daydream about him dying in horrible ways. I do that with Light Yagami too, ya know.

Ichigo: Uh… good for you.

Me: OK, enough chitchat. Renji, make out with Byakuya in front of Yamamoto.

Ichigo: Actually, I think it says—

Me: Shut up. Renji do it.

Renji: But—

Me: -death glare- _NOW. _Sorry, Byakuya.

Byakuya: Please refer to me as—

Renji: -makes out with him for less than a second-

Me: See? Not that hard.

Byakuya: -wearing expression of disgust- You pay has just been cut in half, Abarai.

Renji: But—

Byakuya: Silence. –glances at Yamamoto-

Yamamoto: -hasn't moved a muscle-

Kyoraku: My _god_, Yama-jii is asleep. Again.

Renji: -glares at me-

Me: Hehe. Now, Aizen must marry Momo. –glances at hole- OK, Aizen, you may come out, but just for the marriage. –to myself- Don't know what I'm gonna do about the hole in my bedroom floor… -yanks Aizen out-

Gin: -appears dressed as preacher- Do you, Sosouke Aizen promise to love and cherish your wife-to-be as long as she lives?

Aizen: -smirks- Yes.

Me: He ain't gonna be cherishing her for long, then.

Gin: And do you, Momo Hinamori, promise to do the same?

Momo: Um—

Gin: Wonderful! I now pronounce you… husband and wife!

Aizen: -smirks-

Me: Now wasn't that touching? –boots Aizen back into his hole- There are divorce papers in there! Sorry, Momo Aizen, but I don't want my dear Momo to get murdered.

Hitsugaya: Whew.

Me: Yeah, sorry to burst your bubble, Momo A., but Aizen kinda _stabbed _Momo, so I kinda don't think he _loves _her, but whatever floats your boat.

Hitsugaya: -hugs Momo-

Me: Aw, you're so cute. Even though I'm a HitsuKarin fan.

Karin: -death glare-

Me: Jeesh, I can dream, can't I? Now, Gin has to… get naked and lap dance Kira? Oh my… this I do NOT want to see. –turns around-

Gin: -takes clothes off-

Kira: … -nervous- Uh, Captain Ichimaru… I don't think I have to take my clothes off too—AAH!

Me: -twitch-

Ichigo: My EYES!

Gin: -humming-

Kira: -moans- C-Captain…

Me: -twitch-

Gin: La di da.

Kira: Ugh…

Me: -twitches violently- OK STOP IT! –turns around- AHHH YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LAP DANCE HIM NOT—NOT—_THAT! _

Gin: -smirks-

Kira: -bright red-

Me: GET CLOTHES ON! BOTH OF YOU! THIS WAS A VERY BAD IDEA, MOMO AIZEN!

Gin: -shrugs and puts clothes on-

Kira: -stunned-

Me: Look what you did to the poor boy.

Kira: -wobbles up and manages to put clothes on-

Me: That was SO nasty…

Ichigo: -twitching on the floor-

Me: Oh well, he was more affected than I was I guess. –kicks Ichigo-

Ichigo: What was that for?

Me: -shrugs- Now thankfully the dares are over. Now for truths: Byakuya, are you in love with Rukia?

Rukia: -blushes-

Me: If you lie, you have to… uh… where pink robes for a whole month and sing I feel pretty in front of your whole squad. –pulls out lie detector-

Ichigo: That would actually be pretty fun—

Byakuya: -death glare-

Ichigo: Sorry…

Me: So? Answer the question.

Byakuya: No. I only love Hisana.

Me: -stares at lie detector- He's telling the truth.

Ichigo: Damn.

Me: -kicks Ichigo- Now, Ishida, who do you love?

Ishida: -blush- Uh… no one.

Me: -lie detector goes crazy- Try again.

Ishida: Fine. Uh… there was this girl, uh… she's assistant to Kuro—

Me: NEMU!

Ishida: -blush- Yeah…

Nemu: …

Mayuri: Oh, so you love my daughter? Prepare to die.

Ishida: -glare- Fine, you bastard. This time I'll kill you like I almost did last time before you ran away.

Mayuri: Hmph. You couldn't scratch me without sacrificing your powers.

Ishida: Oh yeah?

Me: -kicks them both- Shut up. No fighting, you'll wreck my room.

Ichigo: Oh, I thought it would be because of some moral thing, you know, you're kinda and caring and don't want anyone to get hurt—

Me: Shut it. Now, -shouts down hole- Aizen, you find any of your espada attractive?

Aizen: …

Me: Answer the question! Oh wait, you'll just lie. I will use my author powers to make you tell the truth.

Aizen: Your powers don't aff—

Everyone: -waits-

Aizen: -mumble-

Me: What was that?

Aizen: Ul-l-qui-qui-oraaaaaaaaaa

Me: Impressive, he wasn't completely under my—wait. ULQUIORRA?

Ulquiorra: …

Me: Well, I wouldn't be surprised if Aizen had raped his loyal servant more than a few times.

Ichigo: You have a dirty mind.

Me: Hey, think about it. He's that kind of guy.

Ichigo: Still.

Me: OK, Let's do another review, 'cause I have room. It's from **sashalilith. **

_"No fuckin little kid ain't telling me what ta do, homies."_

_..HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt! Really good! No dares for now,but,there will be pretty soon.. Oh,and this goes to my_

_favourites,starting now! XD_

Me: Aw, thanks! A lot! -smile- Byakuya, you got quoted!

Byakuya: …

Me: Since that wasn't a dare, let's do another. It's from **apola55. **Aw, I love you, Apola!

_i luv bya-kun i'll kill gin if he touches him like the way he said! i change my vote byakuya for host! _

_grimmjow make out with ulquiorra ( yaoi!) _

_4eyed quincy make out with the carrot flavored strawberry boy XD and i got nothing now_

Ichigo: Carrot… flavored… strawberry… boy? –twitch-

Byakuya: …

Me: YES! High five; I love Byakuya too, except I don't call him Bya-kun. Don't worry; I won't let Gin do anything that nasty to Byakuya.

Gin: Aww…

Me: -smacks Gin- Now Grimmjow, make out with Ulquiorra. Sheesh, that's got to be the trillionth time that's happened.

Grimmjow: Oh my fucking god, why the hell do they want to do this to me? It's _Ulquiorra! _Why _him? _

Me: -shoves UlquiGrimm yaoi story at Grimmjow- Read. There are millions of stories just like this.

Grimmjow: -reads, and eyes bulge- WHAT THE HELL? I would never do anything like that?

Me: -shrugs- Oh well. Now make out with Ulquiorra, or I'll make you sing Barbie Girl again. Remember that?

Grimmjow: Grrrr… Fine. –roughly shoves Ulquiorra towards him and starts making out-

Ulquiorra: -kicks Grimmjow away from him-

Grimmjow: -clutching stomach-

Me: OK. Now 4-eyed quincy has to make out with the carrot-flavored strawberry boy.

4-eyed Quincy: Absolutely not!

Carrot-flavored strawberry boy: No way in _hell_!

Me: Please?

C-F-S-B: NO! And my name is _Ichigo!_

Renji: C'mon Carrot Boy! –snickers-

Carrot Boy: Shut UP Renji!

Me: Well if you want to make out with Renji afterwords you're perfectly welcome—

Ichigo: SHUT UP! –throws shoe at my head-

Me: -catches it- You know, flip-flops don't do much damage.

Ichigo: Grrr…

Me: Look, Ichigo, if you don't make out with Ishida I promise you that I will personally tear out your arms, stuff one down your throat and the other up your ass, so that they touch—

Ichigo: -pales- O-OK… -quickly grabs Ishida before he can escape-

Ishida: Kuro—MMPH! GMPH MPH MMPH MEMPH!

Ichigo: -lets go-

Ishida: -gasps- Kurosaki my god you BARBARIAN! –runs off to wash out mouth-

Yoruichi: -snickers- You just got rejected.

Ichigo: Yeah—wait—I—YORUICHI!

Yoruichi: Hehe.

Me: Well that's Chapter 11! Please no reviews until I say so. PLEASE!

**YEAH BASICALLY WHAT I JUST SAID. **

**VOTES: **

**GIN: 4**

**YACHIRU: 1**

**YAMAMOTO: 1 **

**KISUKE: 1 **

**YORUICHI: 1**

**SEXY AIZEN: 1**

**BYAKUYA: 1**

**i think. well... gin's winnin'… **

**Ichigo: No DUH.**

**Me: -smacks Ichigo- **

**CIAO!  
**


	13. Bitch Slapping and Child Molestation

Me: Hello, and welcome to… uh…

Renji: Hey, I have a good idea for the name. How about the most common phrase you use?

Me: Wow, that's a good idea, Renji. OK. Hello, and welcome to –punches Ichigo-!

Ichigo: Hey, what the hell?

Me: That's the name of this story: -punches Ichigo-

Ichigo: WHAT THE HELL?

Me: -snickers- Hehe. OK, this review is from **JadeKurosaki**. Hi Jade!

_I THINK THAT YORUICHI SHOULD HOST. CAN I COME ON THE SHOW? _

_I WANT ICHIGO DRUNK AND FOR HIM TO HAVE SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN WITH ME, OH AND HICHIGO TOO. I WANT THEM BOTH TO MYSELF. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! _

_AIZEN HAS TO TELL KENPACHI THAT HE WILL CHILD MOLEST YACHIRU. LET KENPACHI KICK HIS ASS, NO SWORD FOR EITHER OF THEM. _

_I WANT BYAKUYA TO RUN AROUND THE SERIETEI NUDE, THATS RIGHT NUDE. EVERYONE MUST WATCH, INCLUDING RUKIA. I WILL BRING A CAMERA. _

_GIN HAS TO LICK TOSEN LIKE IN HIS TREAT TO BYAKUYA._

Ichigo: Don't let her—

Me: Sure you can come on the show, Jade!

Ichigo: NOOOOO!

Jade: How rude.

Ichigo: AAH IT'S YOU! –tries to run away-

Me: -snickers- OK. Seven minutes in heaven, with Jade, Ichigo and Hichigo.

Jade: Heehee.

Rangiku: -captures Ichigo and pours sake down his throat-

Ichigo: -twitch- -eyes glaze- Heyyyyy there sexy ladyyyyy…

Rangiku: -turns him towards Jade-

Ichigo: Who're yoooouuuuu ohhhh hi there sta-stalk-stalk… p'rson who f'lowwws me 'round…

Jade: -sob-

Me: Oh come _on_, Ichigo.

Hichigo: Come on, ya'll, let's get started…

Jade: Yeah! –drags Ichigo towards closet-

Me: Well whaddya know, the hollow's a perv too. Hmm… Hichigo/Gin, interesting couple.

Gin: Mmmm…

Me: Now, Aizen has to –whispers in Aizen's ear-

Aizen: -smirks- He couldn't defeat me even if he tried. –walks up to Zaraki-

Zaraki: -grunt-

Aizen: I am going to child-molest your beautiful fuku—

Zaraki: Ya WHAT? –charges Aizen-

Me: Take it outside, boys. –shoves them out the window-

From outside: HEY WHERE'S MY ZANPAKU-TOU?

Me: Heehee. Now I think its been more than seven minutes… -walks up to closet and opens it-

Renji: What're they—

Me: AAH MY CLOSET IT'S RUINED! –shuts door hurriedly- My poor, poor closet, WITH MY CLOTHES IN IT! YOU'RE BUYING ME NEW CLOTHES, JADE!

Rangiku: I can do that.

Hitsugaya: No you _can't. _You've spent enough of the company's money already.

Rangiku: But _taichou… _

Hitsugaya: NO Matsumoto!

Rangiku: Hmph.

Me: -twitch- JADE GET OUTTA THAT CLOSET!

Jade: But—

Me: NOW!

Jade: -sigh- -comes out-

Ichigo: -unconscious-

Hichigo: -stumbles out- I have met my match.

Me: O-_kay _then…

Yachiru: -jumps up- KEN-CHAN! –jumps out window-

Me: -peers out window- Oh, Zaraki got defeated. Unohana, if you could…

Unohana: Of course. –jumps out window-

Me: Now Byakuya must… walk out in Seiretei _nude? _Noooo!

Jade: C'mon, you know you wanna see it.

Me: Yes but—

Renji: _YES? Whaddya mean yes? _

Rangiku: Aww… we have to go all the way back to Seiretei? I guess it's worth it if we can see Byakuya _naked _though… -sighs happily-

Byakuya: I refuse.

Jade: You have to!

Byakuya: Silence.

Jade: Don't you silence me!

Byakuya: -death glare-

Jade: Hmph. Do it, or else I read aloud something in the character book.

Me: Huh?

Jade: -shows me-

Me: Wow, Kubo wrote that?

Renji: What it it?

Me: It's entitled: Byakuya's desires.

Byakuya: …

Renji: Say _what? _

Me: Yup. And you're in it too!

Renji: o.O

Jade: Last chance, Byakuya!

Byakuya: …

Jade: OK… -takes out character book- OK, remember when Byakuya defeated Renji?

Renji: -wince-

Jade: OK. "_Innermost feelings: Byakuya's desire. Byakuya slashes Renji's body with Senbonzakura Kageyoshi. He tries to stop Renji from rising, as if Byakuya is worried about him." _

Rangiku: That's not that bad…

Jade: "_Renji's fang finally reaches Byakuya. Byakuya shows his feelings for the first time as he watches Renji fall. It is as if his eyes reflect the trembling of his heart."_

Yoruichi: Aww… Bya-kun wuvs his widdle Wenji…

Byakuya: -death glare-

Rangiku: -snickers- Kubo wrote that!

Byakuya: I still refuse to do that atrocious action.

Jade: Damn. Didn't work. Let's try fanfiction.

Me: Fanfiction! Oh my… you're getting into serious stuff there, Jade.

Jade: -smirk- OK… search… "Byaren"

Byakuya: ?

Renji: ?

Rangiku: Ooh…

Jade: Rated "M".

Rangiku: O.O YEAHHH!

Me: I didn't know you liked porn, Rangiku.

Rangiku: No, but I LOVE yaoi!

Me: Uhh… cool…

Jade: OK, here we are: "_Byakuya's head slammed into the headboard, making a cracking noise. Before he could rise, he was pinned down. He hissed in pain and frustration. Renji cracked a sadistic grin, and flipped his naked taichou onto his back. "You ain't felt nothin' yet…" he roughly whispered—_

Renji: What the _fuck _is this? Jade, stop. Right now.

Jade: Only if the Uke in question agrees to run around nekkid…

Byakuya: -twitch- No.

Jade: Okay… "_Byakuya screamed in pain, pride forgotten, as Renji violated every single part of his body. He was seeing stars, he was in horrible pain, he was totally helpless, but some part of his abused body was screaming in pleasure. Renji again flipped his captain around, and slammed his lips in Byakuya's, and for the first time, Byakuya kissed back, wanting every inch of his redheaded fuku—_

Byakuya: -twitch-

Everyone: -stares at Byakuya-

Renji: -edges away from Byakuya-

Rangiku: I have an idea. How about they act it out—

Hitsugaya: -bright red—MATSUMOTO!

Jade: Actually—

Byakuya: Fine I will do it. Now please stop speaking your atrocious lies.

Jade: YES! –punches air-

Me: …meep…

(ONE HOUR LATER)

Jade: No FAIR Byakuya!

Byakuya: -clothes back on- I ran.

Jade: You SHUNPOED!

Byakuya: A faster form of running.

Jade: I couldn't get any good pictures at all! –sob-

Rangiku: At least you saw him for a couple seconds when he stopped.

Jade: I guess… -sniffle-

Me: …

Rukia: -grin- Nii-Sama is so smart!

Jade: YOU! –points at me-

Me: Me?

Jade: Yeah! Aren't you sad? You missed a chance for a nekkid BYA-KUN PICTURE!

Me: Not really.

Jade: WHAT—

Rangiku: She's weird like that.

Me: Hehe… now since I'M IN CHARGE HERE, the next dare is for Gin. Lick Tosen like you would've licked Byakuya-san if I hadn't punched your lights out.

Gin: Okay! Kaname-chaaaannn!

Tousen: -turns- How many time must I tell to not call me—

Gin: -pounce-

Tousen: Ichimaru! What are you doing—ICHIMARU! STOP RIGHT NOW! I WILL KILL YOU! ARGH!

Aizen: -smirk- I love it when my boys are having fun.

Me: o.O… OK… the next review is from **ultima-owner. **

_5 random people:What would you do for a Klondike Bar?_

Me: Oh-_kay _then… Hisagi! What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Hisagi: What's a Klondike Bar?

Me: Yuzu!

Yuzu: I don't like Klondike Bars…

Me: Ulquiorra!

Ulquiorra: …

Me: Jinta! 

Jinta: Nothing! I'd steal it—

Tessai: -glare-

Jinta: A-actually… I'd b-buy it… if T-Tessai-sama would l-let me…

Me: Yamamoto!

Yamamoto: -asleep-

Me: There! You have your answers, ultima-owner.

Hisagi: No, really. What's a Klondike bar?

Me: Never mind. Next review is from **IndentifiedLune1998. **

_NIce one, i vote Gin because his fun and hilarious_

_Ichigo: you may kill barney_

_Hichigo: kiss Toshiro's feet_

_Toshiro: this time fight Ed from fma _

_Byakuya: lol for torturing you, dance and sing to the song called dancing queen_

_Isshin: dye your hair bright orange_

_Matsumoto: paper work, now!_

_Yachiru: you can suck Ikkaku's head_

_Yamamoto: you can bitch slap 5 random person_

_Yoruichi: try to eat catnip_

P.S if someone say no, they must watch dora the explorers

Ichigo: Who's Barney?

Me: He's a purple dinosaur that hypnotizes young children with his awful singing.

Ichigo: Hmm… never saw Yuzu watch him.

Me: Maybe because she was _busy doing all the chores?_

Ichigo: …

Me: Well, you may kill him. –summons Barney-

Barney: ?

Ichigo: AAH! He's scarier than Kurotschi!

Kurotschi: Damn dinosaur…

Ichigo: -stabs Barney-

Barney: -turns to dust-

Me: I _knew _that Barney was a Hollow!

Hitsugaya: Who's Hichigo?

Me: Ichigo's Hollow side… HA he has to kiss your feet!

Hichigo: No way! I ain't gonna kiss no shinigami shorty's feet! 

Hitsugaya: Shinigami… _shorty?_

Me: Dude, you're shorter than I am. And I'm short.

Hitsugaya: -glares-

Me: Whatever. Hichigo, if you don't kiss Hitsugaya's feet, I'll make you sing "Bad Romance" to Ichigo.

Hichigo: You can't make me do that.

Me: Oh yes I can!

Hichigo: -turns towards Ichigo- _I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me, could write a bad romance! _OK lady STOP THIS SHIT! _Whoa-oa-oaaaaa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa caught in a _STOP! _bad romance._

Me: Ha.

Hichigo: Grr… -picks Hitsugaya up by the ankles and kisses his foot, then drops him-

Hitsugaya: OW! What the fuck, Hollow!

Hinamori: SHIROU-CHAN! Language!

Hitsugaya: S-sorry, Momo-chan…

Me: Hehe… young love…

Hitsugaya: We're both five times older than you.

Me: Less than five…

Hitsugaya: Whatever.

Me: Now fight Ed from FMA. Uh… I can't write FMA… So it will be pretty bad.

Ed: -sigh- Here again.

Me: FIGHT! 

Hitsugaya: -attack-

Ed: -does some Alchemy thing-

-something weird happens because he did the alchemy thing-

Hitsugaya: Hado Sanjusan, Shakkaho!

Ed: -knocked out-

Me: It's so cool that Japanese is so like Chinese… like 33 in Japanese is "sanjusan" and in Chinese it's "sanshesan". So it's like I can sorta read Japanese…

Ichigo: One, that's cuz the Japanese _came _from China, and two, no one cares.

Me: One, I KNOW, and two, -punches Ichigo-

Ichigo: Violent… woman…

Me: Byakuya has to sing and dance to… _Dancing Queen? _That weird ABBA song?

Byakuya: …

Me: OK, please, Byakuya? I'm sorry… I don't want Gin to threaten you… I chained him to the wall to stop him…

Ichigo: Jeez, lady, what kinda bedroom has chains on the wall?

Me: Mine. Now, c'mon?

Byakuya: Fine.

Rangiku: He… _agreed?_

Byakuya: This is an opportunity to demonstrate my prowess at singing.

Me: You know the song?

Byakuya: From Rukia.

Me: OK…

Byakuya: -clears throat- _You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life_

Me: -raises stage and installs spotlight-

Rangiku: Awww! Byakuya we love you!

Ichigo: Why does _his _singing get turned into a concert?

Me: Because he's actually really good and awesome looking no stage.

Byakuya: _See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen._

Ichigo: He isn't _that _good…

Me: You're just jealous of his talents and good looks.

Ichigo: Am NOT! 

Karin: Or maybe you're trying to mask your secret attraction to him…

Ichigo: NO ONE ASKED YOU!

Me: -snicker- OK, now Isshin has to dye his hair… bright orange? OK…

Isshin: YES! Now I can match my beloved—

Ichigo: -punch- Just do it, old man.

Isshin: -son…

Me: OK, bathroom's to your right!

Isshin: -leaves-

Karin: Great, now there are gonna be two freaks with even more freakishly colored hair. And that's not counting him –points to Renji- , or him –points to Grimmjow-, or—wow, there's a whole lot of them.

Me: Yeah, it's weird, ain't it? Now… Rangiku, PAPERWORK!

Rangiku: But—

Hitsugaya: Here you are, Matsumoto. –plomps huge pile of paperwork in front of her- All the paperwork you've missed. And there's a whole lot more…

Rangiku: But _Taichou—_

Hitsugaya: _NOW_.

Rangiku: Y-yes… Taichou…

Me: Wow… first recorded time ever where Rangiku has been viewed doing paperwork… this is a historic moments, kids!

Hitsugaya: Kids?

Me: -sigh- OK, now—

Isshin: Preeeeee-senting… STRAWBERRY ISSH—

Ichigo: -punch-

Isshin: N-nice one, son…

Karin: OK, you look even doofier than Ichi-nii. And that's saying a lot.

Ichigo: Why is she even here…

Me: Because I love her! Now, Yachiru, you may suck on Ikkaku's head!

Yachiru: YAY! –leaps onto Ikkaku-

Ikkaku: OI! You little—OI stop that you little hellhound!

Yachiru: -drool-

Me: Yeah, I don't think she needed permission. Now Yamamoto can bitch slap five random people? Uh… OK… Wake up, old man!

Yamamoto: Eh? What?

Me: Bitch slap five random people.

Yamamoto: …

Me: NOW! Before you fall asleep again.

Yamamoto: -considers- Aizen, Hirako, Urahara, Ichimaru and Tousen.

Aizen: -

Yamamoto: -bitch slaps Aizen-

Aizen: I'd kill you now but the urge to see Hirako-taichou's face is too great.

Hirako: Now wait just a—

Yamamoto: -bitch slaps him-

Hirako: Ow! Old man, you're goin—

Urahara: Ne, ne, calm down Shin—

Yamamoto: -bitch slaps him—

Urahara: -falls over-

Gin: Oh my, Ura—

Yamamoto: -bitch-slaps him-

Gin: …

Tousen: …

Yamamoto: -bitch slaps him, then falls asleep-

Me: Okay… that was funny. Now, Yoruichi, eat catnip.

Yoruichi: What's catnip?

Me: This. –shoves catnip in her face-

Yoruichi: Smells yummy –eat-

Me: …

Yoruichi: Yummy!

Urahara: …

Me: Uh… well that was chapter 12! I've decided to NOT have a character host this (sorry folks, I changed my mind) because I've grown too fond of it to let it go.

Ichigo: NOOO!

Me: Hey, you'd rather have Gin do it? Because he was winning.

Ichigo: Good point…

**THANK YOU FOR READING! SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!**

_-Keira Lune_

**OH yeah please don't review, I still have seven left to reply to. Thanks! **


	14. The Frying Pan of Anti Paperwork

Whoa…is that an update I spy? It IS, it IS! 'Tis not a mirage, dear friends, I'm is finally getting off her lazy ass to update!

Ichigo: Oh, _shit… _I thought we got rid of her!

Me: No such luck, carrot-top.

Ichigo: Don't fucking call me—

Renji: Heh. Carrot-top.

Kira: You have no sense of humor…

Me: Okay, review time! This one is from the dear **ultima-owner**. And from now on I'm going to correct spelling and grammar and stuff, because I'm nit-picky like that.

_Gin/Aizen: How does it feel to be beat by children, girls no less?_

_Hitsugaya: throw this at Rangiku: *sends a frying pan.* It makes her think that paperwork is fun._

_Rangiku: *sends 10,000 years worth of paperwork*_

Me: Hey, are you being sexist here? Girls are just as good as guys!

Ishida: Actually, it's scientifically proven that males are actually stronger than—

Me: Shut up! I don't care. Well, Aizen and Gin, how does it feel to be beaten by _kids_?

Aizen: It was all part of my epic plan.

Gin: It wasn't actually.

Me: So how do you explain being beaten by two kids?

Gin: Um…

Aizen: (whisper) Just go with the epic plan thing.

Gin: It was all part of his (points to Aizen) epic plan.

Me: Right…okay.

Hitsugaya: How does a frying pan make someone think paperwork is fun?

Me: It's magical.

Hitsugaya: Um…let's go with that then. (Glances at frying pan) Exactly how do I use this?

Me: I don't know…hit her on the head with it.

Ichigo: God, you're violent.

Me: Says the boy who starts battles every other day.

Ichigo: I don't _start _them!

Me: Whatever. Just do it, Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya: Uh…okay. Oi, Matsumoto!

Rangiku: Yes, captain?

Hitsugaya: (hits her with frying pan)

Rangiku: Ugh… (Collapses)

Me: So…she will like paperwork once she wakes up?

Hitsugaya: Apparently…God I hope this works…

Me: I'm bored. (Revives Rangiku)

Rangiku: Ugh… (Sees Hitsugaya) Did you just hit me on the head, captain?

Hitsugaya: Uh…no.

Rangiku: Because I distinctly remember…(eyes glaze) I'm feeling an urge…to do something…

Gin: Eh?

Rangiku: No…something…else…

Gin: Hmph.

Me: Okay, here's where we see if it worked. (Claps hands) Bring on the paperwork!

(10,000 years worth of paperwork fall on Rangiku)

Rangiku: (Eyes light up) My loves! (Starts doing paperwork)

Hitsugaya: (rubs eyes) It's…actually…happening!

Me: Of course, it will probably wear off.

Hitsugaya: Shut up! Don't ruin my happy moment!

Me: God, sorry. Next review is from **ultraanimefan**.

_Dare: Uryu and Orihime have to kiss. _

_Then everyone including the author have to become hyper and drunk at the same time. Then sing blah blah blah while hyper and drunk, and then eat Orihime's food until it's all gone and make sure you make a lot. _

Me: Wait…what?

Ichigo: Haha! You finally got a dare!

Me: Well you're doing it too, idiot!

Ichigo: Uh…well…that's not the point!

Me: (sighs) Whatever. First things first, Uryu and Orihime have to kiss.

Ishida: (turns bright red) Wh-wha?

Orihime: (blushes) Um…

Rangiku: (smashes their heads together) Okay, now back to paperwork.

Orihime: (blushes) Ow…Rangiku-chan!

Me: Er…does that count as kissing?

Renji: Uh…no.

Me: Whatever. Now, next…we all have to get drunk…

Ichigo: Hah! I say you should be the first to take a sip!

Me: Hmph. (Takes out a bunch of bottles of beer)

Renji: Jesus, woman, why the hell do you have that much booze?

Me: (shrugs) 'S my brother.

Grimmjow: So…your brother has Ulquiorra underpants and infinite alcohol?

Me: Yup.

Grimmjow: Er…ok.

Ichigo: C'mon, drink up!

Me: I think…we should all take a sip at the same time.

Rangiku: Yeah, pass over the booze!

Hisagi: Uh-huh!

Ichigo: (sighs) Fine.

Me: (passes around beer) All right, everyone ready?

Everyone: (nods)

Me: Okay…then cheers!

Everyone: (raises glasses)

Me: Oh, I shouldn't tell you this, but just warning you…

Ichigo: What?

Me: I…can'tholdmydrink. Cheers! (gulps down beer)

Renji: …Wha…?

**SOME TIME LATER:**

Me: -_up! Lissen, ho' stuff! _

Ichigo: _I'ma…I'ma…_ wa' the ne…ne…nes' lee-rick?

Renji: (hits Ichigo on the back of the head, then overbalances and falls on top of him)

Ichigo: Ow…fuck y'bastard!

Me: (sways) W…we e'nt v'ry hyper right now, eh?

Rangiku: Eh… whatever. _I'ma love wi' this song, so hush, baby, shu' up! _

Gin: (slings his arm around Rangiku) _Hear' enough!_

Renji: (still on top of Ichigo) _St' st' st' talk-alk alk alkin' alkin' _

Ichigo: (pushes Renji off him) You fuckin' idjit! 'S _Stop talk talk talkin' dat blah, blah, blah. _

Renji: (grabs Ichigo) _Think yo' be geddin' dis nah, nah, nah_

Ichigo: (shoves Renji) _Nah in de back o' mah ca' ca' ca'_

Rukia: (Leaps between them and punches them both) _Yo' keep talkin' dat blah blah blah blah blaaaaaah… _(Cllapses)

Byakuya: Rukia! (Leaps toward her, trips, then falls on Renji and Ichigo)

Gin: Eh…Buh…buh…buh…bee-ah-chan wait up!

Rangiku: (shouts after Gin) _Y' be delayin' always sayin' some shit!_

Yoruichi: (slings her arm over Rangiku's shoulders) _Y' say I'ma playin', Ah'm neva layin' the dick! _

Rangiku: (grabs Hitsugaya) _S-sayin' blah, blah, blah_

Hitsuagya: E…eh…Muh…muh…massoomoto! (Struggles)

Kisuke: (is roped in by Yoruichi) _cause I dun' care in dis bar_

Rangiku:


End file.
